Fantasy and your child

FamilyKids & Teens

  • Author Talana Schoeman
  • Published June 29, 2010
  • Word count 536

As parents, we want only the very best for our children! We want to empower them to reach their full potential. To do so, your child must be given the opportunity to fulfill this dream. Your role is crucial in helping him/her and it is only logical to start by creating a happy secure environment for them to grow in.

Happy children are normally energetic and motivated to do things. They accept challenges and obstacles more calmly and try to find ways around difficulties.

Unfortunately ‘life happens’ and many factors and events of daily life cause stress of different levels in the family, causing many children to be extremely unhappy. When parents quarrel or get divorced, a child’s sense of security is severely threatened, making him/her feel very insecure, scared and alone. Changing from one school to another or moving from one house/community to another, it will result in him/her feeling very insecure and stressed.

Stories and fantasies play an important part in helping troubled children coping with the many hardships that they are often faced with. They can then experience emotions that they do not know how to deal with. Because they do not, at this tender age, yet have the sophisticated skills of adults to cope with these hurting emotions, they often act out and produce negative behavior, such as: learning problems, hyperactivity, bed wetting, aggression, night mares, eating problems, lying, stealing, etc. - all this because they feel sad, alone and misunderstood.

Stories speak to a child on his own level - it is therefore invaluable in addressing the child’s own problems and help him/her to cope with his/her problems and negative emotions.

In our troubled society, where bad things happen to our precious children, stories are used by therapists for effectively treating these troubled little souls. They use stories as method of communicating with the children, and in return, are used by the child to reveal his/her deepest emotions and pain.

Happy, healthy children also benefit immensely from stories as it can provide them with preventative tools and skills which they might need in future, should they encounter trauma, stress, divorce, loss, conflicts, etc.

65% of all children even have an imaginary friend! This is not necessarily firstborns or children who are distressed, lonely or unhappy. Often these pretend-friends are purely fun! Whatever the reason is for a child to have an imaginary friend, it shows a very fertile imagination and the friend becomes a faithful companion who helps the child to cope with life! These children tend to be better equipped to entertain themselves, get along better with their friends and also have a richer vocabulary.

So, Dear Alert Parent, when you realize that your child has an imaginary friend, don’t be alarmed! Such a friendship will have a lot of positive effects on your child!

Stories and fantasies enable children to go beyond their little world and dream about the impossible. It lets the child escape to a peaceful, secure world where they learn in a coincidental way how to cope and handle difficulties. It gives them a feeling of ‘I-can-deal-with-this’! . . . and in return brings hope and builds a strong self-esteem!

Talana Schoeman was born in King William's Town, South Africa where she matriculated. She studied at the Teachers' College in Port Elizabeth and taught at different schools in the Eastern Cape. She also owned her own Play Schools in King William's Town and Port Elizabeth. She currently stays in Stellenbosch and is an author of children's books. E-mail: articles@thomastoothmouse.co.za

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