Understand and Conquer the Fear of Approach
- Author James Brannigan
- Published July 27, 2010
- Word count 773
You’re standing in the sidelines at the bar, watching all the beautiful, single females preening to be taken home by confident, horny guys and ravished till dawn. You know it and they know it- all the young guys and girls present in the night club are actually here to grab some hot and happening sex.
Even though you desperately want to jump in and get your share of the sex pie, there’s something that’s stopping you from taking the plunge. The thought of approaching the beautiful girl that’s setting your loins afire is enough to make you break out into a cold sweat. Your heart starts racing at 100 miles per minute and for some reason, your knees have turned to jelly.
These are the classic symptoms of the fear of approach, the fear that grips otherwise confident men and turns them into quivering, simpering idiots. Getting girls is, in terms of skill, very simple; but emotionally it is like bungee jumping time and time again. The primary difference between the most successful PUAs and those known as ‘AFCs’, is not any greater value as a person, it is simply that the PUAs have two things that the AFCs don’t: a) EMOTIONAL RESILIENCE; b) MOTIVATION. These two qualities manifest outwardly as PERSISTENCE.
Instead of despairing over the problem that’s inborn in guys, it’s better to take concrete steps to beat it. The primary step you need to take to meet the fear of approach head on is to understand why it happens in the first place. There is a perfect scientific reason to why this fear grips a male, decreed by the law of evolution-
Thousands and thousands of years ago, human beings used to live in tribal societies made up of a hundred or so people. The environment was fraught with countless dangers like wild animals, poisonous snakes and dangerous rapids and rivers. These tribal societies lived in isolated settlements and were generally cut-off from other human tribes.
Each tribal society was led by a tribal chief, the high status male that was the leader of the pack. This tribal leader had a few friends, all ‘alpha’ like him. According to the law of averages and discounting the ugly girls, we can assume that each tribal society of hundred people had five or six really beautiful and fertile girls that the average male would prefer to mate with.
The tribal leader would keep all the beautiful girls to mate with for himself and let his cronies have the remaining pretty girls. What remained for the other low status males of the tribe would be the fat and ugly girls to have sex with.
If any of the low status guys would even attempt to approach any of the girls taken by the tribal leader and his friends, he would be killed. Such killings took place with such alarming frequency that to ensure the survival of their genes, genetic evolution caused a variation in the brain structure of all low status males. Thus all future males, barring the tribal leader, were born with a switch in their brains that prevented them from approaching a beautiful girl. This switch is the fear of approach that we are all born with.
Today, although there are no tribal societies in the modern world, our brains are yet living in those primitive times. So, even the thought of approaching a beautiful woman causes the switch to kick into place and give you jittery nerves and sweaty palms to prevent you from approaching the beautiful woman. Today, you have no fear of being killed just for talking to a beautiful woman. But your primitive brain doesn’t know that and orders your body to set your defense mechanism into motion.
To cut a long story short, in the modern world, you have absolutely nothing to worry about when you talk to a beautiful girl. So the fear of approach has no place in your scheme of things. The key to dampening this out of date emotional wiring is to logically condition yourself through thought and in-field practice, and soon you will be getting girls that your ancestors could only dream of (thanks to the world of modern cosmetics!)
Chuck that fear out of your system, go out and talk to as many girls as you like. Easier said than done, I know, but if you do it, see that you are completely unharmed at the end of the night. You will soon forge new neural pathways which override the formerly paralyzing fear of the approach, so that you can approach women painlessly.
Getting girls is not so easy, but here you can learn how to get girls through some simple steps. To get a girlfriend we should know what women want.
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