Sex Is More Than Just Intercourse

By Linda Ryan

When I founded The Sense of Smell Lab, a global leader in developing unique products for health and well being, one area of my research that is getting considerable attention is sexual health, especially low female libido.

Many omen in their 20s and 30s are dealing with a low libido. When pregnancy and childbirth are the cause, it is easier to understand the reasons why. But many women are affected by stress and lifestyle issue.

There are over 40 million women in the US and Canada-primarily the Baby Boomer demographic-that are now facing the menopause years, o this attention is not surprising. Boomers are continuing to change the way our culture sees sexuality.

Our culture places a lot of emphasis on orgasm and intercourse when it refers to sexual function. In fact, the very notion of foreplay - from a seductive dinner to the pleasures of sex toys - are seen as a prelude to those final few moments of sexual release. We're in such a hurry to get 'there' that we forego the pleasures of the journey.

Men refer to 'having scored' when their seduction ends with ejaculation. For women however, sex is more than the orgasm! Sex does not have to result in intercourse. Our feelings of satisfaction are entwined in the enjoyment of the physical sensations of closeness, sensuality and touch plus the deeper currents of trust, feeling loved and valued, and bonding with another person.

That's not to say that we don't savor the intense satisfaction and release of an orgasm! Of course we do... but there's so much more. Women inherently know and feel this; it's a matter of helping our partners to understand that the road to an orgasm has lots of delights along the way.

You can slow down the road to intercourse by having side trips along the way. These could include going for a walk, a romantic dinner, having a shower together, a sensual massage, using sex toys, etc. Take the time to create an experience that's more than just the climax.

Once the attention is on the pleasures along the way, there's less of a rush to get to the end.

And remember, that while intercourse gets the media attention, there's lots of other ways to bring about an enjoyable - and satisfying - sexual release.

All couples experience sexual problems at some point in their relationship. There's nothing wrong with that! If the problems are not addressed and worked out however, then your relationship could be in jeopardy. The mere existence of a problem is not a sign of failure; it's a normal part of a relationship. Your partner's sexual needs may change over time. Stress and major life changes are an inevitable part of everyone's life. These kinds of issues can cause change in levels of desire, satisfaction, etc. and will require periods of adjustment.

Why not try this today?

Be playful and maintain a playful attitude. As adults we forget how to play but when we retain some of our childhood playfulness, our lives are much fuller and happier.

Sex should be fun and playful. You can play traditional games like strip poker or be creative and make up some of your own. Once laughter and silliness enters your love making, the stress vanishes, the uptightness disappears and the feelings become erotic.