Unsung Heroes of Cleaning

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  • Author Alfred Halfnight
  • Published August 15, 2010
  • Word count 431

They aren’t footballers, firemen or fashion models: far from it. No, they are people who have much harder jobs than those. They work for little pay and even less appreciation. They are London house cleaning professionals: your maids and office cleaners, the people who have to clean the pub toilet when some senseless punter has "left one in the upper deck" as some kind of sick tribute to his childhood poo-fetish. Here are six unsung heroes responsible for cleaning London in all its mess.

The Weekly Maid: surely you know someone with a maid. Chances are that person is not very clean, and the maid has to come over once a week, once a day even, to pick up their dirty socks and wipe up the chicken korma they’ve spilt down the front of the fridge after a big night out.

The Office Cleaner: long after you’ve departed for the Pitcher & Piano round the corner, some poor sod traipses in to bin the ready-made sandwich containers, pry the gum from under the desk, collect the paperclips dumped on the floor that no-one bothered to pick up. So what if they stole your stapler... Cleaners need fringe benefits too.

The After-Party Cleaner: perhaps the most unfortunate and unsung of the whole lot, as for end of tenancy cleaning London is certainly a buyer's market. Worse than a regular house cleaner, not only does this guy have to clean your house, he probably has to find your friend Matt curled up in the bottom of the linen closet and hose him off before calling him a cab home. You should be very ashamed of yourself Matt.

The Pub Cleaners: the least enviable job on the planet. If you’ve been into a pub that obviously doesn’t employ a cleaner then you’ll know exactly why that is. Enough said.

The Street Cleaner: lumped in with parking wardens, garbage collectors and other City of Westminster public servants. Think of the psychological trauma you would suffer wandering around Piccadilly Circus sweeping up fag-ends and Burger King wrappers after fat American tourists. This is where MP expense account money should be going.

Mom: yes, we didn’t forget that being a mom is the most common job associated with cleaning London’s homes, as well as one of the most thankless. Remember that at one point in your life you shat in a diaper and your mom was the person responsible for cleaning that up. Call her right now and thank her... Maybe there’s still time for her to forgive you.

Alfred Halfnight is a house cleaning London expert and freelance journalist with a mission to make you a better, cleaner, happier human being. Drawing attention to the peculiarities of life in the modern age is all part of the package.Check out his other articles for everything you need to know about end of tenancy cleaning London.

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