Misconceptions of bondage have for years been thought of as weird and kinky, meant to inflect pain and humiliation. Something most people are afraid to even suggest to their partner. Gagged and tied, spread eagle, standing in the middle of a room, covered in hot wax, hanging by your arms, with weights clamped to your testicles, while a latex suited dominatrix lashed your naked body with a whip, and probes your every orifice with a dildo built to resemble a stud horse. Sound familiar to what your idea of bondage might be like?

Bondage is not always as intense as the example given here. This type of bondage most relates to BDSM, dungeon type bondage, which is meant more to inflict pain than sexual pleasure. There are varying factors that must be considered when it comes to bondage. Not all bondage is of that degree of sadomasochism. Do both you and your partner have a desire to experiment with bondage and to what degree? Bondage can be as mild as being blind folded while your partner tickles you with a feather. Possibly by adding restraints and other props, a dominate form of role play can emerge.

Role play and bondage are commonly used together in the acting out of fantasies. Before starting, ground rules must be decided. There are two roles in bondage, the dominant participant and the submissive. You must first decide who will play each part.

How far you go with this role play is completely between you and your partner to decide, and is something that should be discussed before any kind of bondage acts ever begin. Ground rules and limits are important to have before you ever start this type of sexual play. Bondage can be used as a form of foreplay, or even as means of sexual arousal, or a way to act out fantasies and open new doors to explore your sexual desires.

Bondage, as perceived by many, does not have to involve pain of any sort. To some, this may be the kind of experience they are expecting from bondage. It’s simply up to you and your partner to decide what the limits are and how far you take it. Having a key word agreed upon to trigger stop when said, is always a good idea. Torture is not in anyway part of bondage and knowing what the limits are before starting can mean the difference between sexual play and sexual assault.

Between two consenting partners, bondage will be a wonderful experience and can open new doors to express your sexual desires. Maybe your partner has fantasies of trying a sex act that has just never fit into your normal routine, or fantasies of role play. Role play will often involve costumes of some sort. The dominant person's attire often may reflect that of power, control, and discipline. Possibly a police officer, or prison warden, or other dominant figures, may be incorporated. Submissive roles of rape or slavery may be common fantasies. A nun costume for example is common for a submissive role.

These types of role play usually involve some kind of session in which rewards for obedience are given, and punishment for defiance. Sometimes, depending on the couple, some form of humiliation may be involved as punishment. Always use caution during this type of role play to ensure a line is not crossed during the humiliation punishment, which can lead to hurt feelings and damage to your relationship. Always remember this should be fun and pleasurable for both parties involved.

Restraints are a very important part of the bondage experience and can range from very mild to extreme. Ropes and hand cuffs are probably the most commonly used type of restraints, and if purchased with bondage play in mind, are designed to be comfortable and made to not cause injury. Many different types of restraints and toys are available: whips, ticklers, gags, hoods, collars, leashes, slings, swings, and harnesses are just a few. Choose some with your partner that fit into the type of play you have in mind.

Practice with your knot tying skills before you begin, as to ensure you’re able to quickly remove any restraints should your partner signal to stop, or should a problem arise.

No one wants to be tied naked to a bed waiting for EMS to arrive to free them. A good rule to practice would be to have a pair of EMT scissors near by just in case. Never leave a bound partner alone for any reason.

Always use caution when restraining your partner to be sure that no injury can occur, or a restriction in the ability to breath is caused. Something to always remember is what type of signal you have chosen to signal ending the session should either of you want to stop. For example if you decide on a safe word to end the bondage session , then using a gag, that will not allow your partner to speak, would not be a good idea. Just as using a hand signal of some sort would mean restraints that limit hand movement could interfere with the signal to end the session. Using a prop, such as a small ball or scarf that could be held by the person in restraints, and could be dropped to signal the session end would be one option.

Restraints being placed to tight can cause blood circulation problems and should always be checked from time to time to ensure they have not tightened once applied. A simple rule would be to ask your partner every so often if he or she is all right. Be aware of your restrained partner’s skin coloration, if any changes are noticed remove the restraints at once. Never leave anyone tied for long periods of time. More than an hour could cause circulation problems.

Never participate in any type of bondage while under the influence of drugs or alcohol.

Any kind of self bondage should never be attempted. Remember the rule; never leave anyone in restraints alone. Self bondage could result in death should something go wrong.

Sexual asphyxiation should never be part of a bondage session and has been the cause of many deaths. This should never be attempted in any way.

Explore your sexual fantasies with your partner in a safe way and don’t be afraid to give bondage a try. Most everyone has fantasies of some kind of bondage, some just more extreme than others. Studies of both men and women’s have found that fantasies of being bound during sex in one form or another is very common for most.