Sexless Marriage? Where Is It Heading?
- Author Anna Roberts
- Published July 8, 2010
- Word count 716
What is a sexless marriage? The standard definition of a sexless marriage is one in which a married couple has sex 10 times or less a year. Some people would define it differently. Some say that a sexless marriage is one where either one or both persons in a marriage are not happy with the amount of sex they are having. The average number of times a couple has sex in a year is around 60. It is also been said that 15% of married couples have not had sex for 6 months to a year. A sexless marriage does not mean there is a serious problem. It means there is something that needs attention.
It is natural for the amount of sex a couple has to slow down to a certain extent, but you have to be careful not to get caught up in the everyday things such as work, kids, just life in general. All these things can lead to exhaustion. Allowing this to happen can cause serious problems in your marriage. You should make time for rest so that you are not too tired to be intimate with your spouse.
Health problems can be an issue, especially as we get older, leading to a sexless marriage. Diabetes and high blood pressure are two of the leading causes of impotence in men and are very treatable. One of the leading causes for sex issues in women is hormonal changes during menopause. If the problem is health related, there are sometimes things that can be done. However, that is not always the case. If a health problem, that can not be fixed, is getting in the way of sex, it is something that you will just have to deal with if you truly love the person that you are with. In some instances you can use sex toys to aide in satisfying your partner.
There are times when a sexless marriage is due to emotional trauma. If a person has had some bad experiences with sex, such as being molested as a child or being raped, a person may have a problem dealing with sex. If this is the case then this person should be encouraged to seek counseling for help. A lot can be done with the proper help so that they may learn to enjoy sex.
At times the problem of a sexless marriage may be because the person who does not want to have sex is cheating. A person who is cheating may want not want anything at all to do with their spouse. You should always remember, however, that there would be many other signs if your spouse was cheating. If you are in this situation then you have a lot of thinking to do. Do you want to save your marriage? If you do then you may have a lot of work to do.
Another major problem that can cause a sexless marriage is homosexuality. People live for years in a marriage as a homosexual and their spouse may never know. Obviously though, if you are a homosexual, you will not want to have sex with a person of the opposite sex, even if you love that person. The best thing you can do in this situation is to just talk about it. Together you can come to an understanding and decide how you should handle it.
When you begin to think about where your sexless marriage is headed there are some things that you should keep in mind. First, some people believe that their marriage is falling apart because they are not having sex. In reality, you’re not having sex because there are other problems. Whether the problem is due to exhaustion, health, emotional trauma, cheating, homosexuality, or whatever else the problem may be, you should talk to each other. Do not talk to your friends and family; they can not help you. Some people who are in a sexless marriage will get depressed, feel lonely, get angry, or turn to affairs. None of these will fix the problem. They will only make it worse. So if you feel that your marriage is worth saving, fight for it with everything that you have in you. You may find that you will be happier and have more sex than you have in years.
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