No Time for me!

Do you ever feel like you have completely lost your identity as a woman and are "just a mom and just have no time for myself?" Take comfort in the fact that you are far from alone in feeling this way. Many moms, especially new moms have a hard time trying to adjust to their role in being both a mom and a woman.

While most of us enjoy motherhood and our role in caring for our family, we never want to lose ourselves totally in the role. After all, we raise our children to become independent adults, right? What happens when that independent adult leaves the nest and goes out on their own?

Feel guilty about taking me time?

Most moms feel overworked and underappreciated. Part of the problem is that the woman of the house is used to doing everything for everyone else and often skips doing things just for herself. Ask any woman why she doesn’t have any "me" time, she will most likely tell you that she doesn’t have the time or feels "guilty" taking time out for herself.

Getting Over the Guilt.

It is imperative that you maintain your identity as a woman and not just someone’s mom for more than one reason. Not only do you have to realize that your children will eventually grow up and go on their own, but having your own identity also gives your children a sense of security about you as well. Children, more than anything want to feel safe. The more secure and happy you feel, the safer they will feel.

What will help you feel secure and happy is a good work/family/life balance.

You should, therefore, not feel guilty about wanting to find time to do something for yourself. It is normal and very important to make the effort to find time to do something just for you.

Find time for myself tips.

Money may also an issue with many moms who feel that they cannot afford to treat themselves to some pampering. The truth of the matter is that they cannot afford not to treat themselves to a little "me" time.

Here are some inexpensive ‘time for myself’ ideas:

Time for myself to read.

Set aside a half an hour of me time each day to catch up on reading

the newspaper, magazines or even a book. Make sure that this is your relaxation time. Do this in the morning or even when you get home from work. Tell the kids that this is "mom" time and that you cannot be disturbed unless it is urgent.

Find time for a treat.

Take a trip to the nearest coffee shop and grab a cup of coffee while reading a book. This is very inexpensive and a nice treat. It takes you away from the role of "mom" and into the role of you. It allows you to regroup and relax.

Time for myself and friends.

Go shopping with a friend or even by yourself. If you cannot afford to buy anything, go window shopping. Or seek out second hand shops where you can get some fun bargains that will not cost you a lot of money.

Find time to watch your favorite TV program.

Put the kids to bed earlier than you go to bed so that you can have some time to yourself. As your children get older, this will be easier as they will most likely not rely on you as much for everything. You are still close by, but can be watching a movie or a television show that you like.

Do not neglect yourself

As much as we love being moms, there are times when we need to regain our identity. If we continue to only identify ourselves with our children, we run the risk of living through our children and making them accountable for all of our happiness. This is an unfair burden to place on anyone.

Making your children your number one priority is the objective of any good mother. But do not neglect yourself in the process, or risk losing your identity as a person.

Whether you are single, married or have a significant other, you have to step away from your role as "mom" and reclaim your identity as a woman in order to have balance in your life and time for yourself.