Some break-ups are rough, while others are mutual and amicable, but no one enjoys going through a break-up. Losing a relationship is always a transition and can be one that leaves one or both partners fraught with heartache. If you are in search of assistance in how to survive a break up and how to make the transition at least a little easier, read the following 15 ways on how to survive a break up.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #1

Go ahead and think about it. While it isn’t healthy to obsessively go over every detail of your relationship and your break-up, it is normal to think about it and mull it over a bit. This will give you an opportunity to determine the reasons for the break-up, since there usually is at least one really good reason – usually more – even if it does not seem like it at first. And, while the two of you might have really enjoyed each other for a long time, if the partnership wasn’t what you both wanted out of life, it was inevitable that the relationship would eventually end. In this particular case, it is actually better that the relationship ended sooner, rather than later. Once you have given your break-up some thought, you will come to realize that it takes two partners to establish a relationship, but it only takes one unhappy person to end it. Mulling things over will also help you avoid making the same mistakes in the future.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #2

You don’t have to be strong every second of the day. It is okay to cry, scream or stay in your pajamas all day. You are hurting, and it is okay to cry and let it out. In the moment, when you are crying over your lost love, you might feel pretty bad, but you will feel better when you finish crying.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #3

Avoid rethinking the decision. When you are trying to figure out how to survive a break up, the last thing you should be doing is second-guessing the decision that brought about the break-up, whether it was your idea or your partner’s. If you start just thinking about the good times and romanticizing them – like so many people do – you are going to lose sight of the reasons for the break-up. You can’t start glossing over the bad parts and focusing only on the good parts. This is not going to help you right now. You need to focus your efforts on accepting the situation at hand and working towards moving on.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip # 4

Maintain some space. You and your ex may have decided to end things amicably and to be friends, but immediately after the break-up you are both going to need some space. Don’t see each other, hang out with each other’s family members, talk on the phone, email, text, tweet, chat or post on each other’s Facebook or MySpace. You don’t have to avoid your ex forever, but you really do need to have some space until you can communicate completely platonically without ulterior motives, including wanting to repair the relationship.

There are situations where you might need to have contact, such as taking care of the logistics of moving out or separating bank accounts, but you should really try to keep this to a minimum.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #5

Deal with the pain in an appropriate manner. You may have messed up and might be dealing with those feelings and taking responsibility for your actions and mistakes right now. That is a good thing and is healthy. Just keep in mind that you also want to always remember that you are a good person and that everyone makes mistakes. It is completely natural to go through a denial stage during the grieving period, but accepting your part of the break-up, as well as the break-up itself, is part of the healing process and part of how to survive a break up.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #6

Get through the hate stage. This stage is when your rage feels so all-encompassing that you just want to scream. How much anger you feel at this point will depend on just how bad the break-up was, the particular circumstances and how much time it took to get to that final break. This is when hindsight might reveal some clues that make you realize that your break-up was inevitable, you might be mad at yourself for your part in it, or you might be resentful of your ex for wasting your time. Whatever it is you are angry about, you need to let go of it quickly. Dwelling in this hate stage is only a waste of energy and time, and you do not need to be tearing yourself apart about something that you no longer have any power to change.

It might feel good in the moment to replace the love you once felt with hate, but in the end it will just result in further complications and in mixed emotions that will not help you as you try to work on how to survive a break up.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #7

Talk it out with friends. Right now, you need to surround yourself with people who love you and who can assist you in feeling good about yourself again. Supportive, compassionate family members and friends can help you to see that you are a worthwhile person, which will make it easier for you to get back on your feet. This support system will act as a good safety net while you heal, and being around people who care about you will help you work towards being happy and getting over your ex.

Remember, what you don’t need right now are friends who are going to try to hook you up with someone else right away.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #8

Write down your feelings. Whether it is a personal journal or poetry, writing down your feelings will help you work through them. Do not edit yourself, and make sure that you are being completely honest. You will likely find that insights come to you while you are pouring out your heart on paper. This is a great way to begin to recognize patterns, lessen your grief and realize the life lessons that you have received from this experience. Your relationship was not a failure if you have learned something about yourself. Even relationships that don’t work out are an important part of our journey through life and of becoming who we are meant to be.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #9

Make a list to remind you of all of the reasons that your ex was not the right partner for you. This will help you keep your resolve, so this is not the time to be forgiving. Get downright ruthless as you complete your list and make sure you include everything that comes to mind. This list will prove as a very useful reminder when you have those moments when you start to question the break-up or start thinking that if you just did this or that differently, things might work out. Include what happened and how you felt, and be really clear about all of the things you hope you never have to feel again.

When you are having a weak moment or missing your ex, look at this list and remind yourself that what you wrote down is the truth of the situation. If you happen to get wrapped up in a moment of low self-esteem and start thinking that maybe you do not deserve better, then imagine this same situation happening to someone you really care about, like a friend or sibling. Then, think about what you would say to them in this situation. It would likely be something about getting as far away as they can and pointing out how the relationship is not good for them. That is exactly what you need to tell yourself.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #10

Prepare for the new. A break-up is the start of a new chapter in your life. Prepare for your new beginning by organizing and cleaning up your space. Clutter and messiness only increases stress and can be depressing. You have enough to be depressed about, so help yourself feel refreshed by opening the way for new things that will soon be coming your way. Tidying up is also a great way to keep yourself busy and keep your mind off your ex and your break-up.

Any kind of cleaning up – even something as seemingly insignificant as cleaning up and organizing the icons on your computer desktop – will help you feel better.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #11

Get rid of things that trigger memories. The grieving process is difficult enough without knickknacks, sounds, smells and pictures constantly reminding you of your ex. You may not even notice some of things that are triggering memories until you really take a good look around and assess the situation. A good first step is grabbing a box and spending time in each room of your home to remove things that make you think of your ex. If you have mementos that you don’t want to part with, just pack them away in a box for now. You don’t have to throw everything out; you just need it to at least be out of sight while you heal.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #12

Find joy in other aspects of your life. When you are determining how to survive a break up, it can be hard to recognize the things in your life that still make you happy. Spend time with people you enjoy, take a class you have been considering for awhile, read a great book and keep reminding yourself that your relationship was just one part of your life. Indulge in things that make you happy and enjoy being single again.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #13

Be active. Exercise is a proven mood enhancer and has been show to alleviate depression. It is also a great way to keep your mind busy and not thinking about your ex. Go jogging, hit the gym or take a stroll with friends. With every step you take, imagine letting go of your sadness and anger.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #14

Let it all go. When you are working on how to survive a break up, letting go is one of the most difficult and most important parts. Holding on to anger, heartache or regret is of no benefit to you. You can hold on to the fact that your relationship was special and unique, and congratulate yourself on taking the risk of falling in love. But, always keep in mind that even though it didn’t work out in your favor this time around, there will always be a next time.

15 Ways on How to Handle a Break Up: Tip #15

Maintain an optimistic outlook. Change the way you think, and you will change the way you feel. You will soon find that you are once again feeling free and will be ready to take on life on your own.