Minimizing Anxiousness During Intimacy.

By Andrea Adams-Miller, MS, CHES

When it comes to intimate play and the progression to deeper stages of

intimacy, partners may become anxious and nervous as something new is

suggested or introduced. Part of the excitement of intimacy is this feeling

of exhilaration and anticipation; however, these feelings can also contribute

to feelings of fear. The feelings of fear create a different physiological

response then exhilaration of desire. Fear causes the body to tense up and to

react in opposition to what a partner may ultimately desire.

To illustrate, a sexual partner may desire to engage in sexual intercourse in

a position that places the penetrated partner to be positioned where the

genitals are more exposed than usual. While for some people, this exposure is

exciting and welcome, there are those partners for whom this is a concern.

Some concerns that some partners express include concerns about their

partner's reaction to their odor, size, shape, coloring, etc.

Although, this fear or anxiety may be unwarranted, these fears still need to

be addressed for the partner concerned. This partner may need more assistance

than this blog can provide with self esteem, self confidence, and body

acceptance. If so, please don't let fear prevent you having the sex life

desired and deserved. Seek help from a sexual health consultant, or a

relationship or intimacy specialist, such as Andrea Adams-Miller at

www.sexualitytutor.com to address concerns right away, so these fears do not

continue to interfere with the ability to enjoy what is desired as a sexual

partner.

On the other hand, sometimes an individual can overcome this fear with a

subtle suggestion or with some helpful hints or suggestions. Therefore, if

trying something sexually new, whether first time intercourse or a new

position, overcome this feeling of fear by breathing slow and rhythmic,

coming up with a safe word, getting into a position of physical control, &

say positive messages either out loud or internally such as "It will be ok"

or "This will be fun or enjoyable."

There is much more a person can find out about each of these suggestions in

order to incorporate them into their relationships, so stay tuned for further

blogs that describe more about breath and relaxation; safe words; positions

of control; and positive self messages!

In Sexual Health,

Andrea Adams-Miller, The Sexuality Tutor, www.sexualitytutor.com