I Screwed Up the First Date - Can I Get Another Shot?

Social IssuesDating

  • Author Bellaisa Filippis
  • Published November 2, 2010
  • Word count 864

You landed a date with a person you really wanted to go out with and you screwed it up completely! Dating is hard enough as it is and if you have a major screw up on or before the date then that can make it ten times harder.

There are many different reasons that you can screw up your date but not all of them all detrimental enough that they have given you zero chances of every having another date. Sometimes you can recover from the ultimate blunders!

Here are a few examples of how you can mess up on your first date and some advice on how to fix it after the fact.

Screw Up Number 1 - You've Talked The Whole Date About Yourself

Maybe you got nervous and when you are nervous you ramble or maybe you just didn't realize you were doing it until your date had the blank look on their face that meant you had literally bored them to death with your ramblings.

There are two things wrong with rambling on and on about yourself. First you almost always give out too much information that they did not need or want to know about, and secondly you seem like an egotistic person who has no interest in learning about their likes and dislikes.

This can possibly be fixed depending on what you talked about and whether you had more to offer them that they may still be interested in.

Call them up and show immediate interest in them. Ask them if they want to go out to their favourite place or whether they have had a good week since you've seen them. If they see that you have some interest in what they have to say then they may be willing to start talking and your second date will be right around the corner.

But if you talked about stuff that made you look like a crazy person they may not even answer their phone. In that case call once and apologize and talk about what you need to explain to them and then stop calling and leave it in their court because the more you call the crazier you will become to them.

Screw Up Number 2 - You Lied About Who You Really Are and You Were Caught in Your Lie Red Handed

You may have told the lie before the date or during the date but either way you were caught in it and now your chances of another date seem extremely small.

If this was a huge lie, like you are not the sex you said you were, then you probably don't have another shot but if you pretended like you could play the guitar and then barely made music while trying, you may have another shot.

The only way you can fix this is by apologizing and admitting that you were nervous and that you screwed up. Don't go into too much detail as your reasoning will probably make you look silly but just admit that you were trying to impress them because you really like them and that before you knew it you were caught up in the lie.

Most people will forgive as most people have lied themselves. With the added bonus of knowing that you like them and were trying to impress them they may feel flattered and give you a second chance.

Screw Up Number 3 - You Were In a Different Place During The Date Mentally

Something bad could have happened at work or maybe you got in a fight with a friend. Whatever was holding your mind and attention hostage it distracted you from your date and made you seem uninterested and bored.

This should be an easy fix and most people will give you a second chance for this. Explain why you were distracted and why you would really like another chance and make sure you deal with any issues before your next date because a second time will most likely warrant a last date.

Screw Up Number 4 - You Screwed Up The Date Day and Essentially Stood Them Up

You were supposed to meet them at the restaurant at 5pm and instead you were sitting on your couch watching TV. Of course you didn't think the date was until Friday but you had actually made the date for Wednesday!

Being stood up sucks and you have to remember that there will be a lot of thoughts going through there head while they are sitting there waiting for you. And when you do remember and tell them it will be instinctual for them to feel like maybe they weren't important enough to remember.

So your goal here is to make it clear that you were an idiot and had too much on your plate and forgot the date.

You also want to make it clear that you really want another chance and that you are sincerely sorry. If they hear honesty in your voice then most people will give you a second chance as mistakes do happen. Just don't make it their fault in any way that you forgot the date or you can pretty much say good-bye now.

Forgiveness while dating is usually a little easier then forgiving things later on in a relationship. Bellaisa is the owner of the Relationship Circle, a website full of relationship advice, tips, articles, and resources for all stages of relationships.

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