Little Maxine follows you from room to room and calls for you when she can't see you, even when you're in the shower. You go to pick up your keys and she howls and goes into a whining fit. Now you've left the house, you can hear her pining away for you, crying and barking as you lock the door and fade away from smelling distance. Upon your return, you find that she has messed all over the living room floor – along with urinating and soiling on your carpet, she has also vomited.

If this sounds like your dog, it is not an act of revenge for leaving her alone. It is an act of distress – of separation anxiety. Although it is natural for dogs to be with their pack at all times in the wild, dogs in the home can't always be with their owners. Dog owners must go off to work, get groceries and so on. So what to do? How can you help your dog be alone, without causing distress to your dog or you? The information below should help you understand the causes of this behavior and some things you can do remedy it.

What Causes Separation Anxiety?

Separation anxiety can be the result/reaction to one single event (or several) that your dog has perceived as traumatic. Some of the situations may include: being left at a boarding facility or kennel (especially after having spent little to no time away from you), a change in living arrangements, or work schedule and so on. Separation anxiety occurs because your dog is anxious about whether you will return to them or not. Something has given her the impression you may not return. Because this is a complex problem, it cannot simply be solved with buying another dog as a companion, or always staying at home. This only allows the behavior to continue and doesn't get to the heart of the matter. Indeed getting another dog will only exacerbate the problem. The steps outlined below are not quick fixes. They require an owner who is patient, diligent and committed. If you are wishy-washy in your attempts, your dog will never fully conquer her anxiety and it may even get worse.

Note: never crate your dog as a solution for anxiety. Your dog will feel even more anxious and may injure herself in the process of trying to reunite with you or escape. Her crate should be seen as a refuge, never a punishment or a babysitter or a solution for something you don't know how to fix. She should WANT to go in there.

Steps to Alleviate it in Your Dog

The first step is to create positive associations around leaving. Do this by grabbing your keys and anything else you normally collect when you leave. If Maxine gets anxious, take your things and sit down on the couch. Then pat her and engage her calmly and while being assertive (all too often, owners act in a highly emotional fashion to their dog's behavior and this only increases the anxiety), until she settles down. When you feel ready, start the process again only this time, walk to the door and open it. If Maxine becomes anxious, close the door and return to the couch. Again, when she has calmed down and not until, praise her and when things are settled, go back to the door. When your dog is showing no signs of anxiety, you may begin working with her when you are on the other side of the door. Initially, you will only want to leave the door closed behind you for a minute or so. Then, do as before and walk calmly back into the house, sit down, and wait for your dog to unwind. This process will take months of concentrated effort, but eventually you will get to a point where your dog and you can be separate for an entire day without issue. It is also very important not to be overly excited when you walk return after being out – whether it was for five minutes or ten hours. This will only feed her anxiety. It is better, instead, to make your return a non-event and eventually leaving will be a non-event as well.

While there are some temporary answers to anxiety problems, such as drugs (prozac is one), having a neighbor dog-sit or taking your Maxine to a doggie day care, please bear in mind that there is no substitute for investing in your dog's emotional well being. The pack that works together, stays together.