What Parents Can Do to Change Their Child's Behavior

What is the normal way of a child?

Normal or "good" behavior is usually determined by whether it's socially, culturally and developmentally appropriate. Knowing what to expect from your child at each age will help you decide whether his or her behavior is normal.A child's behavior may be a problem if it doesn't match the expectations of the family.

How to change this behavior.

Consistency in your reaction to a behavior is important because rewarding and punishing the same behavior at different times confuses your child. When you think your child's behavior might be a problem.

How to stop misbehavior?

Ignore this misbehavior and it works the best over a period of time.When you want the behavior to stop immediatly, you can use other methods.

What are these other methods?

Decide ahead of time the behaviors that will result in a time-out (usually tantrums, or aggressive or dangerous behavior). Choose a time-out place that is uninteresting for the child and not frightening, such as a chair, corner or playpen. When you're away from home, consider using a car or a nearby seating area as a time-out place.

When the unacceptable behavior occurs, tell the child the behavior is unacceptable and give a warning that you will put him or her in time-out if the behavior doesn't stop. Remain calm and don't look angry. If your child goes on misbehaving, calmly take him or her to the time-out area.

If possible, keep track of how long your child's been in time-out. Set a timer so your child will know when time-out is over. Time-out should be brief (generally 1 minute for each year of age), and should begin immediately after reaching the time-out place or after the child calms down. You should stay within sight or earshot of the child, but don't talk to him or her. If the child leaves the time-out area, gently return him or her to the area and consider resetting the timer. When the time-out is over, let the child leave the time-out place. Don't discuss the bad behavior, but look for ways to reward and reinforce good behavior later on.

Encourage a desired behavior.

Use a reward system.

The child must know that bad behavior wont be tolerated and that good behavior is rewarded are learning skills that will last them a lifetime

This works best in children older than 2 years of age.Being patientcan be helpful to parents.

All children have episodes of bad behavior, some more frequently and severely and others less. Using these three

A loving, stable relationship between parents and children is the basis for the child's healthy social development. Tell your child you love him and show your love by taking time to listen, to play, and to teach. The parent-child relationship is built on the words you say and the tone of your voice. It is strengthened by the laughter you share and the games you play together. It is forever bonded by the values and skills you pass on to your child every day.

Children learn to make the connection between an action and its consequence when the reinforcement or punishment is immediate and logically related to the action. Parents don't always have to provide the consequence; most consequences occur naturally. Parents can help make the connection by talking to the child about what they did and why it lead to a certain consequence. But, as parents, our responses to our child's actions are powerful consequences, either rewarding or punishing and therefore, shaping his behavior. In the context of a positive parent-child relationship, your approval or disapproval is usually enough of a response to reinforce or punish a behavior. When more intensive rewards or punishment are needed, parents should choose those that work for their family.

IMPLEMENTING A BETTER BEHAVIOR WHEEL

Suppose your child is guilty of leaving the lights on after leaving a room.

Since you've already made it a rule that the lights are to be turned off when leaving a room, it's now time to spin the Wheel.Notice that you're not the bad guy here. The rule of turning off the lights was agreed to by your child. And now it's the Wheel that has to be answered to. You can be impartial in the process. You can even root for the child, hoping for an easy consequence.

When you start the program you are faced with a list of themes, or mis-behaviors to choose from. In this case you would choose Leaving the Lights On. Each of the consequences is logically related to the wasting of electricity. This helps drive home the lesson. Remember, the Wheel is about teaching ...not punishing.

To activate the Wheel, your child simply clicks on the Spin button. After the wheel stops spinning, a randomly generated consequence is displayed, along with a cool sound, generally of dismay.

The reason the Wheel is so effective is because:

It's simple -- Once it's set up it only requires one thing. A click of the mouse.

Your child helps set it up. This is really important because once your child has been invited to participate in choosing the consequences, he/she will have an investment in the process and be much more willing to give the Wheel a spin when the time comes.

It doesn't matter how much we love our kids, or how much we want to be good parents. We sometimes get furious at our kids' behavior and at our own inability to deal with the situation in an effective manner.

Get ready for a surprising discovery the next time you find yourself in this situation. Join the thousands of others who have discovered that spinning is a lot more fun -- and effective -- than getting angry.