Still Parents, Tips For Co-parents
- Author Cheryl Gowin
- Published December 10, 2010
- Word count 722
STILL PARENTS ... Remember you may have decided to no longer be husband and wife but you are still Mom and Dad to your children. You need to always show your child’s other parent respect. This includes how you act around the other and what you say in front of the co-parent and when the co-parent is not present. A major part of parenting is being a role modeling for your children. You need to model for your children respect. Your children will imitate your behavior. Your disrespect for your former spouse will be the role model your child follow when dealing with other people.
One easy way to show respect is to shop with your children for gifts or cards for their co-parent. Make sure your children recognize the co-parent with appropriate gifts or cards. This would include Christmas time, birthday and Mother/Father’s Day cards.
CO-PARENTING … The aspects of good co-parenting are very similar to good parenting skills, it just a little bit harder because you are in different households.
Conflicts
Be positive. Learn positive conflict resolution techniques. Conflicts will come up, you can’t avoid that. Even the best written parenting plan will not avoid all conflicts. Conflicts are a great opportunity to role model conflict resolution to your children.
Keep the kids out of the ring. The kids are not a tool to get back at your ex-spouse. Make sure your conflicts with your ex revolve around a need of your children. You must clear about your children’s needs and don’t transfer your needs unto your children. Second, you must compromise when it is possible.
Set Appropriate Boundaries.
Your house verses the Ex’s house. This is going to be very difficult but unless the children are in physical or psychological damage, the other parent has the right to use whatever parenting style he/she find appropriate. His/her parenting decisions are most likely out of your control. It is probably a good bet that your ex will not make the same parenting decisions you make.
Both parents should split the various parenting tasks. Try not to let one parent be responsible for all of the day to day parenting and the other only being the fun parent. Share the parenting chores such as parent/teacher conferences, doctor appointments.
Be aware if the kids working one parent against the other. You need to be able to draw the line between what happens at your house, under your parenting style and what happens at the other parent’s house. Just because "it" happens at Mom’s house does not mean "it" needs to happen at your house.
Communication
Find a way to communicate regularly. This can be by email or phone. Make sure you share as much as possible. As a young child, this communication is about basic activities such as eating, sleeping and eating habits. A daily journal can be a great way for both parents to share information. As the children get older, they can communicate more directly with both parents. But this communication should not be left up to the children only. The parents should have a way of communicating on school activities, church effects, sports events, social events and trips out of town.
Develop an understanding of each co-parent’s communication needs. For example, you have a job where you can’t be reached by phone; so communication needs to be by email several days in advance.
TO SUMMARIZE
First, respect the co-parent’s parenting approaches; accepting that differences are okay. Communicate regularly with respect. Set strong boundaries, children will soon learn what is allowed at each parent’s household. Don’t let one parent assume the disciplinarian role while the other parent gets to be Santa Claus.
There are many other aspects of successful co-parenting. Each co-parenting situation is different and not all suggestions work for all people. One parent may still be working through the pain of the divorce. But, it is possible for co-parents to work through these issues and develop a way to collaborate with the other co-parent. When you are faced with issues of co-parenting, seek out a counselor who has experience in counseling couples in parenting plans, collaborative dispute resolution and working out issues related to effective co-parenting to help with this stage in your life.
Cheryl Gowin is a Counselor Life Coach with Discovery Counseling, http://www.discoverycounseling.org. This is a second career for Cheryl;prior to moving into the counseling arena she held an executive level management position. She brings her life experiences to helping individuals, couples and families deal with issues of daily life. Discovery Counseling has location in Orlando ( http://www.discoverycounseling.org/longwood.html ) and Sarasota ( http://www.discoverycounseling.org/sarasota.html ).
Article source: https://articlebiz.comRate article
Article comments
There are no posted comments.
Related articles
- Introducing Numbers and Letters to Young Children
- When Is It Safe to Take Newborns Outside?
- How Discussing Asperger's Syndrome with My Child Improved His Growth and Empowerment
- The Impact of Maternal Narcissism: Healing Wounds from Childhood
- Parenting Made Easier: 10 Practical Tips and Life Hacks
- What Is Play Based Learning
- 6 Ways to Actively Engage in Your Child's Learning Journey
- Mindful Parenting: Cultivating Emotional Intelligence In Children
- Tears in the operating room: A father’s tale of hope and courage.
- Tonies – Meet The Parenting Hack!
- How to Safely Clean and Maintain Wooden Toys
- Ways to Enjoy Quality Time with Your Family
- "How do I get a loved one in treatment?" A Guide to Supporting Their Journey to Recovery.
- Parenting Influence on the Child’s Mental Health
- The importance of multivitamins in pregnancy
- The many benefits of reading with children at bedtime
- TIME MANAGEMENT FOR BUSY PARENTS
- Could Using a Professional Sleep Trainer Help You and Your Child?
- 23 WISE WORDS FROM A FATHER TO A SON ABOUT MARRIAGE
- Firsthand Experience of Shopping Secondhand For Babies
- Mom: How to Break Out of Your Cell Phone Addiction
- Protect Your Children, Family and Yourself
- Why Arts and Crafts are Important for Kids
- How does a newborn baby recognize their mother?
- Journaling Every day Can Only Be Good For You!
- Choosing the Right Parenting Product to Discipline Your Child
- "COMPARISON BETWEEN CHILDREN" - A true 'CURSE' to our society now-a-days.
- What Are the Signs That Your Teen Is Into Porn?
- Your Toddler is Not Your Enemy
- My Father, My Mother, and More