Santa on a steam train, a squirrel on a boat, an illuminated castle, lunch in a medieval hall and a party with Lady Gaga. The Lakes has its usual astonishing variety of Christmas entertainment, and the above is (nearly) all true!

According to Rheged, Santa has several holiday cottages in the lake district, which is just as well as he plans on spending quite a lot of time there before he returns to the North Pole to pack for the big trip.

His first appearance in Cumbria is doubtless a PR exercise to prove that he does not have a belly like a bowlful of jelly – he and many doppelgangers will be taking part in Barrow-in-Furness's annual Santa Dash and Reindeer Run on 20th November. Here, adults who register with the charity, Cancer Care, can borrow a Santa suit, and kids can borrow antlers and Rudolphian noses, before walking/running/dashing along the one-and-a-half mile route through the town.

Having proved his fitness, Santa then arrives at his Lake District cottages in Rheged by husky-drawn sleigh (I guess the reindeer need a break after the Barrow Reindeer Run) on 21st November (I'll be keeping my eyes skywards in the hope of spotting the fly-past!). He'll switch on Rheged's Christmas lights and be on standard grotto duty from November 27th – 28th.

On 4th December, Santa hops back to the west coast to switch on the Christmas lights at Grange-over-Sands – no doubt he chose this one because they have a spectacular, allegedly 100ft-tall, Christmas tree!

On 5th December, Santa will be in his grotto at Keswick's Traditional Christmas Fayre. There's street entertainment, decorations throughout the town centre and lots of market stalls all staffed by charities and local community groups.

It's a little known fact that Santa is quite keen on boats. He will be taking four cruises a day on the Keswick Launch on the three weekends before Christmas, 6th/7th, 13th/14th and 20th/21st. Children will be given presents and adults get mince pies – yum.

On 7th – 9th December, Santa will be cruising with his friend, the 6ft-tall talking red squirrel, Sammy. Santa and Sammy will be handing out fab pressies to children and mulled wine and minced pies for the grown ups on Ullswater Steamers.

On 11th/12th and 18th/19th December, Santa will be indulging his little-suspected love of steam trains. He'll be hosting train trips on the Ravenglass & Eskdale Steam Railway from the coastal village of Ravenglass all the way to Boot at the top of the Eskdale valley.

Santa also loves a film, so he'll be hosting supper and film events for kids at Rheged in the week before Christmas.

• 19th Dec: Santa Supper plus Shrek 4

• 20th Dec: Santa Supper plus Toy Story 3

• 23rd Dec: Santa Supper plus A Christmas Carol

Santa will also be at his grotto in Whitehaven's The Beacon on 22nd December, with gifts for 3-12yr olds.

Muncaster Castle is one of our favourite places in this part of the world. This medieval castle-cum-stately home puts on a great show at Christmas, with elaborate Victorian decorations, illuminations and special effects in the garden, with tall tales told by staff in 19th-century costume. Or at least, we think it's costume – the castle is well known for its ghosts!

• Christmas at the Castle – weekends from November 20th until Christmas (excluding 25th/26th November)

• Victorian Christmas Tours – Sundays in December (excl. 26th) plus 27th – 30th.

• Christmas lunch plus Victorian Christmas Tour – 23rd November, 3rd December and 10th December only.

There are a number of Christmas light switch-on events in our area. Keswick's is a favourite, as it combines with the Keswick Food Fayre. There's no news yet on who's going to switch on the lights, but last year, it was Prince Charles! The event takes place on November 19th.

Cockermouth's Christmas lights switch-on takes place on 21st November. Always good fun, the event includes street entertainment and market stalls.

There's been a touch of excitement amongst teens in the Whitehaven area, as their Christmas lights are to be switched on by Kimberley Dayle. Who she? I hear you say... well, she's a Lady Gaga tribute act, returned from her US tour. She'll be doing a 15-minute set before switching on the lights, then trekking over to Whitehaven's Civic Hall for a concert. There will also be a local radio road show in the town from lunchtime. The event takes place on 21st November.

If your musical tastes are – ahem – more eclectic, you might prefer to go to Keswick's Theatre by the Lake on 5th December. They are hosting a Viennese Strauss Christmas Gala concert, with Strauss, Christmas songs and humorous seasonal readings. This sells out very quickly, so book soon!

The Theatre by the Lake is also offering 'Melody & Mirth' on 19th December, in conjunction with the local Rotary Club. Opera singers, Graeme Danby and Valerie Reid star alongside a local band.

Also not to be missed is the Theatre by the Lake's version of the childhood classic,' Tom's Midnight Garden', from 27th November to 15th January.

A couple of other Christmassy concerts that sound great include the Christmas Concert at All Saints' Church, Cockermouth, on 4th December, where you can enjoy Bach, carols and seasonal refreshments.

There's also a terrific concert planned by Ulverston Music Festivals at Eccle Rigg on 16th December, with Schumann's Liederkreis song cycle for the first half and Christmas songs in the second, with the baritone Jeremy Huw Williams.

Whitehaven Civic Centre will be hosting the annual Whitehaven Theatre Group panto, 'Snow White', from 7th – 12th December. Pantomimes are few and far between in Cumbria, so book early!

There are a number of Christmas Fairs planned:

• 19th November: Keswick Food Fayre

• 21st November: Armathwaite Hall's Christmas Fair

• 27th – 28th November: Ulverston Dickensian Fair

• 3rd December: Egremont Farmers' Market

• 4th December: Cockermouth Christmas Farmers' Market

• 5th December: Keswick Traditional Christmas Fayre

• 12th December: Rheged Christmas Food & Gift Fair

• 17th December: Egremont Christmas Farmers' Market

• 19th December: Rheged Christmas Farmers' Market

• 19th December: Ulverston Christmas Farmers' Market

If fine dining's more your thing, there are a number of upmarket eateries in the area, including Armathwaite Hall, which has delicious four-course lunches throughout December, and a serious Christmas Eve dinner with pre-dinner cocktails and pre-dinner entertainment. On Boxing Day, there's the same dinner, but with a casino afterwards!

You can combine a lovely Christmas lunch with a lake cruise on Ullswater Steamers' Spirit of Christmas cruises on December 7th and 9th. The lunch is hosted by the nearby stately home, Dalemain, in their Medieval Hall.

After all this munching, you might need a good walk. Whinlatter Forest Park is a good place to go at this time of year, partly because of the lovely Christmassy pine forests, but also because the trails are waymarked, of various lengths, and there is little risk of getting stranded in cold weather. They have trails for all levels of experience including children, an orienteering course, mountain bike trails (with bike hire), and, weather-permitting, the Go Ape! high-wire course. There's a good cafe, which usually does seasonal fare and a few days with the man in red himself (check the website for dates). You can also buy any size or shape of Christmas tree you like!

So, what'll it be? Dinner, Santa, shopping, walking, music or theatre? Go on – try them all! There are plenty of self catering Lake District cottages available across Cumbria which would make an ideal base for visiting most of these events. Just follow the link in the resource box.