Picture the scenario – mankind has been pushed to the brink of extinction and all that remains are the walking dead. Their minds as that of a Neanderthal with the main priority being to harvest food – food being the remnants of mankind.

So imagine struggling for survival every day and not knowing if a zombie was going to ambush you around the next corner only for you to see one wearing a t-shirt that says ‘Kiss Me I’m Dead’. Even in these circumstances I am pretty sure that even the most hardened of individuals would be unable to control themselves from cracking a smile.

This shows that however you are finding life at that moment in time just seeing something that is completely out of context for that situation can make you smile and lift your mood.

Should this happen it would not be wise to actually approach the zombie and give him a kiss as this would more than likely result in you having at least one of your limbs eaten. Smiling and running away would be the much safer option. Failing that you could always manoeuvre past them as most zombies are renowned for being slow due their muscular deterioration, or as a last resort shooting them in the head with an accurate firearm or disabling the brain with some form of blunt weapon would also be acceptable. Remember that just because their t-shirt made you laugh it still does not mean that they wouldn’t eat you in an instant.

To avoid potential problems such as getting shot yourself in a case of mistaken identity ensure that your t-shirt is as free of stains etc as much as possible. Most people would only look at the state of a person to see whether they are a zombie or not and if your face is out of view then you could well be getting a bullet coming your way.

Another important factor also would be to ensure that if you are injured that you don’t walk like the undead, shuffling along and groaning. This would prompt others not to think twice that you have become a zombie even if they did have a giggle at your humorous t-shirt before they shot you.

The rules to surviving a zombie apocalypse therefore become apparent. Ensure you have somewhere safe to hold up until the worst of the infection has dissipated and the zombie threat has either been taken care of by the military or have started to death due to lack of victims. Make sure you are sporting a humorous t-shirt as this way people may hesitate to read the logo before they shoot and realise that you are not one of the living dead. Keep safe and away from areas where the dead could gather such as shopping malls etc. The best place to hide would be an attic with a retractable ladder so the un-dead have no way of reaching you. Probably the most important factor though it to keep a good stock of food, leaving your safe haven can mean that you could end up as the food.

If zombies arise I wish you the best of luck.