Sex is an extremely important factor in most relationships, yet is a topic a high majority of us shy away from with our partners and even close friends. How many of us were raised not to discuss sex because it is an adult topic? It’s not uncommon for us to find sex embarrassing and even difficult to talk about when we reach adulthood, although 99% of hot blooded males would like to suggest otherwise. Sexual issues, minor problems and hiccups can have a long term impact on relationships and because it is a difficult topic to discuss, unfortunately they often go unresolved, leading to yet more unwanted pressure.

So what are the most common sexual problems between partners?

• Non existent Sex Life - There comes a time in most relationships where the sexual element may, let’s say, cools down – during pregnancy, after pregnancy (recovery period), times of illness or even stress. It’s important to remember this is completely normal and must be expected at some stage. However, a long term lack of sexual contact can be very damaging to a relationship. It’s vital a couple TALKS, communication is paramount – you need to get to the root of why sex with your partner has stopped entirely. It may be that one partner has an underlying physical issue that needs addressing, or it may be indicative of a deeper relationship problem, such as infidelity. Don’t jump to conclusions, talk to your partner!

• I’m just not into that! - It’s something we’ll mention time and time again, but communication is extremely important in a relationship, especially when it comes to turning the lights off. A Lack of communication is one of the key reasons for problems in the bedroom. Do you wish your partner would do something different or stop doing something entirely that irritates you? How on earth is your partner to know what you like or if you are even in the mood for sex if you have never had a conversation about it? Don’t feel you have to talk "dirty" in order to achieve something, just remember a complete lack of conversation will most likely lead to unfulfilling sex for both parties, communication is a key component in building trust and intimacy.

• My sex drive is in OVERDRIVE! - Believe it or not this is an incredibly common issue. One partner wants sex more than the other and it can lead to arguments and even resentment. The partner who wants more sex feels rejected and the partner who wants less feels pressured, it’s a vicious cycle. It’s important to respect a partners decision and feelings. After a long day at work, most of us look forward to hitting the sack – IT’S NOTHING PERSONAL if we don’t want sex. Remember, pestering your partner isn’t going to resolve the situation. Masturbation in most cases will cure an overwhelming desire to have sex, it’s completely natural and just as healthy!

• Not enough intimacy and romance - Intimacy and romance play an important part in providing the reassurance and trust that underpins all successful relationships. Where there is a lack of intimacy and romance one or both partners may feel unfulfilled and dissatisfied with the relationship.

• I can’t reach orgasm - There could be many reasons you’re not having an orgasm. Different people have different sexual responses, so it may just be harder for you to reach an orgasm then it is for others. Maybe you’re stressed out, or on a medication that makes orgasm more difficult. For example, some anti-depressants are notorious for having sexual side effects. But that is not something you have to live with. If you are taking a medication with negative sexual side effects, talk to your doctor about switching drugs. Make sure you’re relaxed and turned on before you even contemplate having an orgasm, what’s the use in taking on such a task whilst worrying about the days trouble’s? Experiment with different positions and techniques, for example oral sex may work great for some of us, whilst others find penetration a sure way to orgasm.

• I can’t maintain an erection – Whilst the vast majority of men hate to admit it, most men will encounter this problem at some stage in life. This is usually due to stress of day-to-day life, alcohol, and tiredness. However, persistent, long-term problems getting and maintaining an erection hard enough to have the type of sex you and your partner want is known as erectile dysfunction (ED) or impotence. It is a serious problem that can affect men of all ages, but is more common in men aged 40-70, more than half of whom have some degree of ED. If you are experiencing erection problems, here are a number of lifestyle changes you could adopt:

1. Get plenty of sleep.

2. Maintain a healthy diet that is rich in fruit and vegetables.

3. Exercise regularly.

4. Try to keep stress levels as low as possible – if you do experience stress or depression speak to your GP who can offer further advice.

5. Don’t drink or smoke excessively, or use illegal substances.

• Sex is boring! – Sex lives have a habit of becoming routine, tedious and uninspiring. If this is the case, it’s time to spice up your sex life! Simple things such as not having sex will result in couples concentrating on kissing and cuddling and more sensual activities, massages for example. Communicate with your partner, what do they want? Some couples even consider the use of role play, sex toys and erotic stories can add a new element to your sex life. Don’t attempt anything too adventurous at first and ensure your partner feels comfortable with your new experimentation.