Mary and I frequently come across couples where one is a knowledgeable cruiser and the other is a newbie. How to balance the scale and get the beginner comfortable? Will living and cruising aboard ever work when one of the parties is inexperienced or a tad uncertain how or if to proceed?

The first step is to present boating slowly. Charter a trawler together so you understand whether it is something that might work before you make the plunge and acquire a new or used trawler or motor yacht together. Go out on weekend cruises with friends who own boats. Is your mate relaxed? The old saying is that you either love it or hate it.

Once you have made the choice to proceed with buying a yacht, be sure your mate is involved in the buying course of action. Each of you must be keen on everything about the motor yacht or trawler you acquire. Look at boats on the net and compose a record of what you like. Compare notes to make sure you and your partner like the same features fundamentally. If not, you will be selling it again in a few months. We have observed this time and again. The engines and all systems will appeal to the man; the interior arrangement and design will speak to the woman. The man can love the engines and all the fancy electronic equipment but if the bath or galley is not perfect for the lady, you will not be investing in that specific trawler. If mama ain't happy, no one's happy.

Get a yacht broker that will work as your buyer's broker. A skilled broker will lead you through the buying course of action and help you in learning about your yacht after the purchase.

At this time you've bought your dream boat and have outfitted her with all you require to cruise full time. It's time to get her away from the pier. But before starting the engines, formulate a strategy. Plan how you will maneuver from the wharf and how you will drop the anchor. How will you get back to the wharf? Talk about this arrangement with each other so everyone is sure of his or her job. This is where communication plays a key role. Each person must be aware of their role in this procedure. Once you leave the harbor, try maneuvering in the wide open water. Practice is the solution to gaining self-confidence…practice your docking procedures as well. When your inexperienced partner feels self-assured, you've won the game. After a few exercises, examine what was done correctly and what needs more effort. This is the key to having fun. And don't be fearful of making mistakes. We have all been there.

One mistake NOT to make is with regard to communication. Yelling will get you nowhere. It will stress your partner to the point where he or she will be prone to make blunders or it will make them so livid they will throw up their hands and give up. Yelling can be a reflection of your own stress/anxiety which could be interpreted by your partner that you don't know what you are doing, thus stressing them out. Try to converse evenly and in a normal tone. If you do end up yelling at your mate, remember to make an apology later; otherwise you might be sleeping on the fly bridge that night.

Continuous coaching can lead to problems as well. If you are attempting to train your partner how to operate the yacht, peering over his/her shoulder and coaching each minute can lead to apprehension. The partner will start focusing on your disapproval rather than how they are operating the trawler. As in all avenues of life, communication is the solution. Oh, and when your inexperienced mate does something correct, give them an ata-boy; works everytime.

If you are successful in getting your partner to have a pleasurable time on the water, you can expect many more trips trying to duplicate that recollection, I guarantee it.

Mike Dickens, the author, is a live aboard boat owner and owner/Broker of Paradise Yachts in Florida USA.