Um.... Excuse me?

Arts & EntertainmentHumor

  • Author Daniel Blechle
  • Published February 8, 2011
  • Word count 395

Who was your first? Simple question, right? A common enough question anyways. A question that when asked, most people seem comfortable enough answering. Thanks to today's society, sex has become such a casual topic. From music to film to advertising, sex is everywhere. So when your approached with the question of who your first experience was with, being as desensitized as possible to the subject, you should answer without feeling violated. ....Right? RIGHT? Unless of course, its your mother doing the asking.

In life we establish certain lines and boundaries. We set these boundaries for the sole purpose that when we approach them, we know not to cross. It would be physically impossible for me to name off each and every boundary specifically, and to be perfectly honest, I'm not sure that I've discovered all of them yet. However, I'm well aware that my mother trying to decode my sex life is one, that when approached, is accompanied with bright flashing lights, road signs warning me of the danger that lie ahead, and my conscious screaming at me to turn back.

I suppose the dilemma was brought upon myself. Years of brewing and crafting in my mother's skull on the perfect, opportune time to drop the bomb. Perhaps it was the days of coming home in the early hours of the morning, or the nights of me not coming home at all, that raised suspicion. Maybe it was the time I had to call her for a ride home from a hotel in downtown St. Louis due to the fact that I was flat broke, without a vehicle, and a dead phone. Did I mention that I chose wisely to use the girl's cell phone to call her? Embarrassing? Some might say. Others that know me might just nod their head and under their breath, mutter the simple phrase, "That's Blechle".

Yes, that's Blechle. But Blechle has a mom. One that is determined to find out if her son is running around the great state of Missouri defiling the family name. I'm sure this is a conversation that most people by the age of 22, have answered. MOST PEOPLE. I happen to fall into the category of the "other guys". It is really nothing personal Mom. I do love you. So think of this as me protecting you. Protecting you from the harsh truths of reality.

I am a 22 year old, new writer. I have always enjoyed taking life's lemons and putting a sarcastic spin on them. Follow my blog @ skepticalcriticism.blogspot.com

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