In the research paper titled, "Money, Sex, and Happiness: An Empirical Study" sex was the #1 indicator of whether those interviewed saw themselves as happy or not. And why not? It's a wonderful aspect of being human. In a committed relationship it contributes to feelings of intimacy and connection. It's the greatest physical manifestation of the love you feel for your partner and/or yourself and let's not forget that in spite of all the advances in medicine, it still happens to be the most effective way of making a baby.

There are 4 types of sexual dysfunction: sexual pain disorders, orgasmic disorders, sexual arousal disorders, and sexual desire disorders. Luckily EFT can heal most of these quickly and easily. Each individual's history can add or detract from his/her sexual expression. I have seen unresolved childhood sexual abuse for instance show up as excessive menstrual bleeding and pain, vaginal atrophy, endometriosis, migraines, fibroids, weight issues, infertility, backaches, and more.

For this article I would like to address the issue of arousal. There are times when the body shows a drop in libido due to fluctuating hormones such as after a baby is born or during menopause but as an energy psychology practitioner I want to investigate what caused the dip in the first place. Could it be that the pressures of adding a new member of the family or the fear of entering cronehood be the real culprits? Something I see regularly in my practice is sexual arousal dysfunction stemming from the emotional rollercoaster ride of a couple who is having difficulty getting pregnant. Just try to maintain a sexually heightened state during rounds of IVF, sperm counts, basal temperature gauging, and sterile clinical analysis of the "problem".

Over 25 million men have taken erectile prescription meds over the last 10 years. The reported side effects on the manufacturer's website are quite frightening so why not try addressing the deeper issues first since the largest most powerful sexual organ isn't between the legs but between the ears. The little blue pill might help with creating blood flow and cause an erection but it actually does nothing for desire.

Fred came to see me for erectile dysfunction for which he had been taking medication for. He was in a loving relationship with a woman he cared for and was very attracted to however he couldn't perform in the bedroom. We soon discovered that he had a long history of very domineering women in his life beginning with his mother. His last marriage had been one fraught with feelings of helplessness and fear. We spent the next 3 sessions clearing any charged memories of feeling powerless with these various women and he reported, "I'm like a teenager again!"

The sexless marriage is reported to be at epidemic proportions in this country. There are a slew of books on the topic and one site I looked over reported that 15-20% of couples had no sex in the last 12 months. The anger, hurts, daily garbage, and other poisons that contribute to distance in a relationship are bound to show up in your inability to meet physically. My favorite exercise for sexless couples is a variation from one I read about developed by Dr. Pat Allen. Couples are told create a romantic mood by dimming lights, playing soft instrumental music, and making sure that they have uninterrupted time together. They then give each other massages, feed each other some finger food, and take a bath or shower together - all in silence. Next I have them go off and journal about what feelings/emotions came up. All their fear, trust issues, insecurities, anger, sadness, and frustrations are exposed in this hour long process and provide rich material indeed for clearing with EFT.

Figuring out why you don't want to experience complete connection and openness or you don't really want to make love to your partner is the first step in permanent healing of any problem in the bedroom. Getting rid of any monsters lurking under the bed with EFT will transform 5 minutes of friction into a passionate exchange of subtle energy and love.