Boyfriend? Significant Other?

Social IssuesDating

  • Author Susan Payton
  • Published March 4, 2011
  • Word count 489

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So what do you call that special someone in your life? "Significant other"? "Paramour"? "Honey"? "Boy/girl friend"? You know...in situations where you are obligated to introduce your true love to someone new. Do you feel ever so slightly silly calling him your boyfriend?

Is boy/girl friend too high school? Too college? Does using the term boyfriend sound too juvenile? Here's the thing...you know what your love means to you, but to the rest of the world it is a different story.

Not having a term for the special person in your life can lead to awkward situations. Have you ever NOT introduced someone for lack of a proper way to introduce them? I'll bet that certain someone was mad!

In a recent USA Today article, the Oxford English Dictionary editor-at-large stated that "People feel a real need for a term that refers to one's romantic partner that does not sound childish." Jesse Sheidlower went on to explain that

  • 'Partner' sounds too official.

  • 'Companion' sounds too unromantic.

  • 'Lover' is too explicit.

  • 'Boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' seem inappropriate unless you're a teenager.

Sheidlower continued by saying that 'POSSLQ' sounds too stupid or bureaucratic." What is a POSSLQ you ask? The acronym stands for "Persons of Opposite Sex Sharing Living Quarters," as used in the late 1970s by the U.S. Census. I have never heard of this term, but agree that it is too sterile and overly involved.

In the same USA Today article, according to the most recent Census data, 42% of U.S. residents - about 92 million Americans ages 18 and older - are unmarried. Over 30 million live alone, making up 27% of all households. This statistic is up from 17% in 1970. The number of unmarried opposite-sex couples who live together has also increased to 5 million cohabiting households. Adding to the confusion... how do you identify the person you are living with who you are not married to?

A 2005 study, published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, of 115 people ages 21 to 35 who were either cohabiting or had lived with a romantic partner notes that the lack of proper terms often leads to awkward situations, such as someone upset over not being introduced in social situations to avoid the inevitable questions from well-meaning, but inquisitive friends and family.

In this study, written by Wendy Manning of Bowling Green State University and Pamela Smock of the University of Michigan, the authors state that "cohabitors frequently refer to their partners as girlfriend/boyfriend or fiancé, although there appears to be no universally accepted term or language. ... At times, the lack of a term can create conflict and problems."

So what do you call your honey/significant other/boyfriend? Leave a comment and share.

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I'm Bella Girl. I blog about dating and more at http://bellarelationships.com

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