Help! My Child is a Verbal Bully
- Author Mandy Jane Clarke
- Published April 23, 2011
- Word count 514
If you find yourself thinking or saying "My child is a verbal bully," don’t despair; there are avenues open to you to seek assistance with this problem.
To understand how a child becomes a verbal bully, you have to look at your home environment. Most kids who verbally bully do so because they are brought up in a home where this type of be behavior is tolerated.
Children learn everything from their parents. Thus, if you or your spouse is a model of bully behavior your child will take it as a sign that it’s okay to act in this manner. If your spouse yells at you at the drop of a hat, and it is not immediately corrected, your child will learn to do the same.
Conversely, if you yell at your children in an abusive manner they will accept it as normal and embark on the same type of behavior as you; first with their siblings and then at school.
Once a child shows signs of being a verbal bully, it must be dealt with in a calm and rational manner. Sit down with the child and explain why it is inappropriate. That there are consequences to their actions; and that it is not an acceptable form of behavior in or outside the home.
Everyone gets angry now and then, but the extent to which they display their anger has a negative effect on the child. Children who grow up in a home where verbal bullying occurs can affect their personalities a hundred fold. When a child witnesses their mother or father using this method as a way of achieving results in a particular situation, they come to think of it as the only way to get what they want, when they want it.
Moreover, the model of bully behavior has set a rudimentary foundation by which the child will copy as he or she grows. Verbal bullying has no place in the home. It is not only a detriment to the family in general, but to a child in particular. In addition, the verbal bully who is not reprimanded but allowed to continue to abuse those in the family unit will aggressively become worse and may show signs of physical abuse at a later age.
There is help for a child who is a verbal bully. The first place one can seek help is at the school level. Often, if a child is verbally abusive at home, he or she will continue this behavior in the school setting. There are often counselors, psychologists and social workers at every school who you can turn to for assistance. Also, since this is a learned behavior you may wish to seek family counseling as well as counseling sessions for the model of bully behavior, whoever the adult may be. It is important for the entire family to understand where the origin of verbal bullying began and how to stop it.
Having a child who is a verbal bully need not be tolerated and can be appropriately dealt with through the aforementioned suggestions.
By Mandy-Jane Clarke
If time comes when you were already saying " My child is a verbal bully " visit Stop-Bullies.com
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