Communication skills are critical to negotiating; it's the ability to read others that leads to success.

Yet many negotiations are lost because people work at selling their position and don't spend enough time fishing for viewpoints and objectives of others.

People with the best negotiating skills are most often the winners.

The following steps will improve the odds of success and help get you want you want.

1. Listen Intently - Active listening is the #1 skill in negotiating. LISTEN! Realize that most people are trained to talk at people. Use that knowledge to your advantage.

2. Prepare To Win Or Be Sure To Lose - Prepare, prepare, prepare.

3. Know What You Want, Aim High - Do not be afraid to ask for more. Be an optimist and it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy.

4. Find Out What The Other Side Wants - The other side would not be there if they had nothing to gain. What are they after and how can you help them meet their needs? Ask open-ended questions.

5. Do Not Make Unilateral Concessions - Don't offer across the board deals. "Lets work together," is far different from, "Anything you want."

6. There Is Power In Your Walk-Away Alternative - You never disclose this and never threaten. At what point will you walk away is your secret. If you put that on the negotiating table, it may be perceived as arrogance.

7. Do Not Allow Others To Intimidate You - Your point of view or issues are not less important than the people you negotiate with.

8. Be Patient. Try Not To Make The First Move - You may jump the gun before you understand the game. It is virtually impossible to negotiate if the pressure is on to make something happen immediately.

9. Be Suspicious Of Deadlines - They may be phony and a ploy to pressure you into making a bad decision if time runs out.

10. Be Reasonable And Flexible - Look for a satisfying agreement for both parties.

11. Negotiation Is A Process - Remember that negotiations are a process and often take time to consummate. Don't be quick to rush to conclusion.

12. Deal Honestly And Ethically - Deal with integrity; you may need future opportunities to negotiate with the same people in the future