Succeed at Dating - How to Avoid the Power Struggle and Ensure You Get Your Guy

Social IssuesDating

  • Author Lucy Obrien
  • Published May 23, 2011
  • Word count 581

Have you ever noticed that dating goes well for a short time only to flounder further along the way? It's usually when you start wanting more that things go wrong. When you try to push for what you want in dating it can often turn into a power struggle. If you want to succeed at dating, you must be able to keep your cool and read the signs along the way. Read on to find out what goes wrong and what you can do to ensure your dating success and get your guy.

The trigger for problems in early relationships is nearly always when one partner suddenly realises that the other has gotten serious and is trying to move the relationship further ahead than they are ready for. It is generally the woman who wants a relationship first as men are slower to make these decisions and are often quite happy just dating. If your man has pulled away from you, then this will usually be the cause. If you panic now, you may end up chasing him away for good which is why it is so essential to stay cool if you want to succeed at dating.

The thing with men is that they will withdraw if they feel uncomfortable or they need time to work things out in their head. It's a natural masculine response and one which often causes a lot of pain for women who revel in closeness and security. If you panic when this happens it often leads to a power struggle where you are almost trying to force a relationship and he is trying to escape. Although his silence and disappearance sometimes appear kind of cowardly, he usually does not want to hurt your feelings, although it is very frustrating when you can't get the answers that you want.

Many women, instead of letting him go at this point, freak out and exhibit all kinds of desperation and negative feelings. They chase after him trying to get back that feeling of closeness and security or trying to get answers as to why he has pulled away. This makes him feel even more uncomfortable and he is liable to pull even further away. A power struggle ensues. Unfortunately these behaviours appear to be somewhat instinctual so it requires a huge amount of self-control to not run after him and just to wait and allow him to return when he is ready.

Don't let this scenario happen to you if you want to succeed at dating. Learn to stay cool and let him go. Avoid the power struggle at all costs. If you persist in pushing him into a corner, your relationship will collapse and he will think that you are either desperate or a control freak - definitely not someone who he wants to risk being in a serious relationship with. One of the things that puts a man off a relationship is when he feels that you will restrict his freedom. When you appear to need him at all costs, your behaviours only confirm his fears.

It is important that you understand and anticipate these patterns if you want to succeed at dating. You need a certain amount of patience and aloofness to be successful with men. If you don't have this then you will find that your relationships regularly drift into trouble. But when you are aware of these principles and able to apply them, you will definitely be able to get your guy.

To succeed at dating and find a strong, loving relationship, you need to understand how attraction works for your man. This expert dating advice will show you how to create lasting love and affection. Alternatively, please feel free to visit my website for plenty of information on how to succeed at dating.

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