Succeed at Dating - How Will You Handle It When He Pulls Away?
- Author Lucy Obrien
- Published May 23, 2011
- Word count 687
Can you handle the ups and downs of dating? If you want to succeed at dating then it is a good idea to know what kind of challenges you are likely to face. Dating is rarely easy and one of the things that happens is that men nearly always pull away during periods of uncertainty in dating and relationships. If you're prepared for this and know how to handle it then you are halfway to dating success. Find out why it happens and why it is so important to be able to handle this type of response.
Generally dating goes well for as long as both partners are attracted to each other and don't feel any pressure. The turning point generally comes when one partner realises that the other has crossed the line into relationship before they were ready. Very often it is the woman who shows signs of wanting a relationship first as women tend to attach early on. She may try to talk to him about the future or start complaining when he isn't giving her the relationship she expects.
If he's not ready to hear any of this, the relationship that started out as fun and carefree begins to feel like pressure and work. He pulls back to avoid giving the impression that he is committed or to try and figure out what is happening. He also needs space to work out how he feels about you. This pulling away is a natural male response to discomfort or problem solving, so you had better be prepared for it, as it's likely that it will happen to you at some point, however much chemistry there is between you.
If you can now stay cool and wait patiently then it's likely that you can ride the storm, but many women don't. The problem is that his disappearance may bring out all your relationship fears of being hurt or your female tendency to feel abandoned. If you had been feeling a little insecure before this, then it could feel like the start of a major disaster. You sense that things aren't as close and you wonder if you are losing him.
Because it is a natural response for a woman to want to talk things through, you, of course, want to discuss it to sort it out. As a woman, that is your natural way to solve problems and feel close again, and that is what you want more than anything. However, he won't appreciate this if he's not feeling comfortable and needs some space to sort his head out.
You see, words do not have the same effect on men as they do on women. If you start talking at him when he needs to think, he will want to get away from you. You are better to let him go. If you start to cling to a relationship where you are more attached than he is you stand a good chance of losing him.
Often a woman will chase a man to find out where he is and why he isn't getting in touch and meeting all her needs. She gets upset with him and calls and texts constantly to try and get it sorted. Often she just cannot be patient enough to wait for him to come back in his own time. He starts to think that she is desperate or insane. If you do this you will kill the attraction in your relationship.
So what should you do when you feel him pulling away? The only thing to do if you want to keep him is to stay cool and hold back. Do not show signs of desperation or negativity. Let him go and wait to see what he does. When you are getting on with your own life, and not running after him, you are likely to turn the tables especially if he starts to wonder why you stopped getting in touch. When you realise that his pulling away is just the natural male withdrawal response, you can learn to handle it. Then you can get through dating to a successful relationship.
To succeed at dating and find a strong, loving relationship, you need to understand how attraction works for your man. This expert dating advice will show you how to create lasting love and affection. Alternatively, please feel free to visit my website for plenty of information on how to succeed at dating.
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