Steps To Take Before Divorce

News & Society

  • Author Roberto Sedycias
  • Published July 18, 2011
  • Word count 507

Statistics say that about 50 percent of marriages end in divorce in the United States. As divorce has become socially acceptable, it crawls into becoming somewhat a norm and even sometimes an inevitable outcome of marriage. But there are ways to try to save your marriage before you get to a point of no return.

The first step is opening the lines of communication. A marriage will go sour when the pair stop talking to each other, stop telling each other, first, about their day, the happenings in their life, the events that are important to them, and then they will stop telling each other bigger things, like their ambitions and goals and dreams. Part of them will think that the other person simply doesn't care anymore and that will create some sense of resentment and bitterness. However, if the lines of communication are closed, then there will be no way to speak about the true feelings of what is bothering one about the other and so all of this bitterness will manifest into some secret hatred and show itself in the form of petty fights, angry remarks, or cruelty, or even silence that is icy and cold.

All of these things will only get worse if no one does anything about it, if no one opens the lines of communication, absolutely nothing will improve. So, that said, it is important to try to open these lines as soon as possible. However, this is quite a hard task and one that cannot be taken lightly. But, if not taken, then it will lead to the road of divorce because things will escalate and only get worse with time. So, it is important to talk, and if you can't figure a way to start talking without yelling or snapping or being hostile, then seeking a mediator's help might be the best solution.

Seek counseling or some other kind of assistance that will help the two of you finally begin speaking to one another and voicing the concerns of the various problems you two share. The next step is to try and hear the other person out without judgments or anger. Without prejudice or bias, you need to listen to what they are saying and not take it as an attack on you. Certainly much of it will be personal and hurtful and even angering, but to get through it, you need to listen to each other or else there will never be a bright ray of sun at the end of a dark and festering tunnel.

Once that is done, listening is not enough. Take it to heart, otherwise it will be all in vain and might even be worse that the person opened up to you and now you won't even have the consideration of putting their words into action. You need to try and make changes, for love is built upon a valley of compromise and to make your relationship work, it is important that you make this change and listen to what they have to say.

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Roberto Sedycias works as an IT consultant for http://www.polomercantil.com.br

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