Emma has been dating Daniel for 9 months and one thing which troubles her is Daniel’s low sexual desire. Her situation is not unusual. It is estimated that among couples facing libido troubles, about 30-40% of them is due to men’s decreasing sex drive. There are as many reasons for a man not to feel in the mood as there are for a woman. In the following paragraphs, I will talk about the possible causes for a man’s lack of interest in sex and some ways to cope or overcome low male libido.

Causes Of Low Libido

Libido is influenced by a combination of physical and psychological factors, which can change from year to year, month to month and even night to night. Factors causing low libido are stress, age, lifestyle (alcohol consumption, lack of exercise, smoking, skipping meals, lack of enough sleep, recreational drug abuse), specific medical conditions (such as diabetes, arthritis, chronic pain, anemia), medication (such as tranquilizers, anti-hypertension drugs), bedroom performance anxiety, falling testosterone (an androgen sex steroid hormone that regulates sexual changes in the body) and relationship problem.

How To Cope With Low Libido

Different people are affected by different factors that cause their low sex drives. Therefore, the next thing to do is to pinpoint the causes that are applicable to your boyfriend or husband. There are 2 things that you need to take note. First, it is natural for men to become less eager than initially after they have been with the same woman for a long time. It is not that the guy is no longer interested in his woman; he feels more confident that his woman will stick with him, so he is more relaxed about his relationship and switch his focus on other matters such as building up his career, working hard towards getting quicker promotion. But it will be a problem, if his sexual desire is less than half of yours. The second thing is, different people have different sex drive levels. What is important here is working towards narrowing the gap between yours and his sexual desire levels.

When talking to him about his lagging lust, be careful not to make him feel inadequate by asking why he does not want to have sex more often. He is probably just as concerned about the fact that he is not satisfying you or he may get defensive. Instead ask him what you can do to help him to re-engage sexually. Best way is to approach this as a team to show your support. He cannot be made to feel like this is his entire problem to solve on his own. When he knows you are on his side, he will be more receptive and listen to your needs and desires. From this basis, you can work things together.

If he is stressing out on his job, completely engrossed in the problems he needs to solve, it will be a good idea to get him to relax by doing some deep breathing exercises, or trying yoga or meditation is equally great. Encourage him to go for regular workouts because studies have shown that the more physically fit a person is, the more sexually active he/she is likely to be. This is because exercise can boost sex drive by circulating more blood through the body and increasing the production of feel-good endorphins. To raise his low energy levels, make a date to walk in the park, go for a bike ride or go to the gym together. Working out with your partner can be a great aphrodisiac.

If you suspect medication could be the culprit, suggest that he checks with his doctor to see if switching medicines could solve the problem.

Some guys have falling libido because of their low testosterone levels. In this case, a diet rich with libido boosters food will be of great help. Food high in zinc such as oyster, shellfish can increase testosterone and sperm production. The same goes for oily fish, olive oil, bananas, asparagus and figs. Nuts help in male hormone production because they are high in essential fatty acids (monounsaturated fats).

Little annoyances, disagreements and misunderstandings between the two of you could be a dampener on his sexual desire and the only real way of knowing if this is the case is to talk openly about your relationship with him. Focus on resolving your relationship troubles together can help to reverse the down trend in your sex frequency with him. You also need to check on yourself to see if there is anything you have been doing that could contribute to the problem. Ask yourself, do you nag a lot, or are you been too critical, too dominating that he feels the loss of dignity as a man doing damage to his self-worth which can filter down to his sexual interest on you. If this is the case, you owe it to yourself to make the necessary adjustments to straight things out.

If you suspect it is a matter of him not expressing what turns him on, tell him that you are totally open to suggestions. You can spice things up by trying new positions, making love at different time of the day (his sexual desire may be higher in the morning), add in some sex toys, or encourage role-playing.