Relationship: Expansion from diverse perspectives

If you have a "rule" or "belief" that people who agree with you and like the same things you do are the only ones to be around – where is the basis for growth and expansion?

If I go to the same restaurant with the same items on the buffet over and over – how will I discover new foods and whether I have a taste for them or not? When there are a large variety of choices, there is the greater potential for being satisfied.

When I was studying restorative justice, I was privileged to study and work with Huna on the Island of Kauai. We explored the art of Ho’oponopono and the philosophy of making peace with those who seem to be in opposition with us. If I try to make others like me and adopt my perspective, I lose the benefit of their opposing perspective. This philosophy returns me to a natural appreciation of others I come into contact with and I can then choose to enjoy those encounters for the expansion they bring.

Nothing in this means that you will completely enjoy everyone you meet in the moment. I’m not saying I’ve never encountered people I’d rather not be around again! I’m not saying there aren’t serious conflicts in the world today.

Quality of awareness comes into play here – you see I can become aware that someone is doing something I don’t like and keep my focus on what I don’t like. Or I can choose to become clearly aware of what I don’t want, which brings clarity to what I do want and focus my gaze on what I do want. In this way, what might seemed like a differing problematic position can actually provide the basis for solutions and innovations I might not have had access to otherwise.

I’ve had clients in problematic key relationships where they don’t feel respected which led to an exploration of respect, a clear articulation of their both demanding respect from others and treating others with respect – leading to a whole host of fulfilling work relationships in their future.

Every aspect of my life is enriched when there is variety from which to choose. Others provide us choices in ways of thinking and processing, points of view, behaviors, lifestyles, emotional responses, lifestyle, personality, talents, attitudes, interests, moods, and more. Even the briefest of encounters contributes to our expansion – you contribute to one another by helping define the attributes of your individual expansion and expression.

When I come together with differences, they stimulate new ideas and innovation. As a problem becomes evident, the solution also becomes evident and questions we haven’t thought of before emerge. Rather than choosing to be bothered by your problems, let your problems inspire the expansion or solution.

What if every person I interact with is a part of that person I am becoming? Being around diverse perspectives helps me define my own preferences and perspectives that directly contribute to my growth and expansion.

We have the freedom to choose what we give our attention to – what a gift. We have the freedom to choose what we want to experience. The more diverse perspectives, the greater potential for expansion through relationships.

About the Author: Judith Richardson, MA, BA, B.Ed, MEC

Recipient of International Coach of the Year, Canadian Progress Club Women of Excellence Award as Entrepreneur and Innovator, and the Saint Mary’s Distinguished Community Service Award, Judith works and plays across North America, Europe, Jamaica, Siberia, Australia, Sweden, Israel and Russia. As CEO & Principle of PONO Consultants International Inc, Judith Richardson is a recognized Organizational Strategist and Executive Coach, inspirational speaker, and influential teacher. She combines exuberant optimism and play with seriously-honed skills, limitless thinking, a piercing intelligence and an uncanny ability to weave in concrete concepts – grounding vision when we aren’t even aware of it. www.ponoconsultants.com

Permission is granted to copy or distribute this article in its entirety as long as this copyright notice and full information about contacting the author is attached. For permission to reproduce specific articles, send an email to: judith@ponoconsultants.com ©2010 Judith Richardson. All rights reserved.