There are three basic types of people that come into our lives.

1. Those who love us inwardly

2. Those who love us outwardly

3. Those who force us to prove them wrong, there by pressuring us to succeed!

The people who love us inwardly allow us to truly be ourselves in their presence. They honor us, protect us, listen and understand us. When we think of love, whether the love of a parent, family member, spouse, child or significant other we usually think of this type of love.

When we find ourselves longing for love this is usually the type of love that we seek. We long for that "unconditional" adoring, accepting love.

Those who love us outwardly are our biggest fans. The ones who sing our praises and let the world know that we are worth watching, listening to and supporting. These people create our raving fan club. The ones who support us and become our broadcast station for all of the wonderful things that we do.

And then there is the hidden secret. The people who love us through what I call "reverse energy". These are the people in our lives that force us to prove them wrong. They criticize us, ridicule, sometimes betray and berate us. These are the people that tell us that something can’t be done. They are the challengers. And they are here for a big reason.

The naysayers, critics and energy zappers in our lives provide us with something major to overcome. They force us to stretch, to question, to seek, to leave no stone unturned, to heal. They pressure us to succeed. They become the backbone of our most inspiring stories of triumph by giving us the great challenge the seemingly insurmountable hurdles to overcome. They provide the fire that propels us to heights that we never reach without them.

Without these catalyst people in our lives progress is slow, arduous and without structure.

I recently had a friend say to me, wouldn’t it be wonderful if the world was without darkness and only had light? Would it be wonderful if the ego did not exist and we could all just love?

My answer was no. Actually it would create the greatest imbalance. Contrast, dark vs. light creates balance; the back drop, the outline to shape the light. When you don’t know what you really don’t like you won’t be able to discern what you do like or love.

When I look at the most successful people they almost always have a dark story behind them of some sort; one of struggles, doubts, naysayers and negative people to overcome. In fact I notice that the most successful people have a lot more negative people in their lives or very tough coaches because their purpose required them to excel as a leader.

Leaders are put through the paces in much harder ways than followers so that they will be primed to strive to reach for greater heights than the average person.

Those who have not had a lot of adversity in their lives seem to have different goals, the hunger is not there. The drive, the unquenchable thirst to succeed is not as strong. These people have a different path, no less of a path, just a different one.

Take an inventory of who is in your life and who has had the greatest influence.

1. Make a list of the people who love you inwardly

2. Make a list of the people who love you outwardly

3. Make a list of the people who gave you something to overcome by challenging you, criticizing or hurting you.

These difficult people have been your success boosters. The more you have the more you are meant to overcome and succeed. You are being prepared to be a leader in a big way if you are up for the challenge.

Make the empowered choice to ask "What lesson do I need to learn most at this time from this challenging person or people." Be grateful for the contrasting experience and then allow it to leave gracefully while retaining the wisdom and knowledge for your accelerated growth.

When you feel that you have done all that you can and it seems that your desires are not manifesting pay close attention to the "critics" in your life. As soon as you recognize these hidden "success boosters" for who they really are the tough lessons are free to dissolve and you can move on with confidence.

Remember, in most cases the toughest people are the greatest catalysts to your success!