Is Sexual Experimentation Important To A Relationship?

Social IssuesSexuality

  • Author Christa Sizz
  • Published October 19, 2011
  • Word count 531

This is a question that millions of people have asked of themselves, probably back to the beginning of time. Is sexual experimentation important? Maybe. Is it a requirement? No, definitely not.

When the subject of sex in our relationships comes up, most of us make it harder on ourselves than is necessary. Somehow, we have gotten this thought in our heads that we must "measure up." To what, no one is really sure. But, we put this pressure on ourselves anyway.

Part of it is, we obviously want our partner to be satisfied. We love him or her and want to make them happy. But, dig a little deeper, and you may realize that you're scared. Scared that if he or she is not happy with your sex life, they may stray, find someone they think is "better," and ultimately leave you.

Communication is a powerful tool over this type of fear. You can drive yourself crazy, imagining how bored your partner is with you, sexually. How unfulfilled they are. But, if you'd just ask, you can eliminate all this needless worry from your life.

Just come right out and ask them; "Are you happy, or do you feel that we need some sexual experimentation to spice it up a bit?" And, if they say yes, don't take it personal, or attribute it to your lack of sexual expertise. Instead, take that energy and pour it into finding ways to "make it more interesting."

If you're more of the "vanilla" type person when it comes to sex, you may have a more difficult time finding the sexual experimentation that's right for you. Others, the more adventurous types will find it a bit easier. Just remember, all you have to do is try. Keep an open mind and be willing to give it a go. If you find something that you don't like, it's okay. Your partner will not leave you because of this.

Put yourself in your partner's place. If you asked them to try some sort of sexual experimentation and it turned out that you loved it but he or she didn't, what would you do? Would you leave them because of it? No. You may be disappointed, but you'd get over it. You love this person and you want to avoid making them unhappy. There's plenty of other things you can try, right? Believe it or not, your partner will feel the same way.

And now we're back to the question, is sexual experimentation important to your relationship? If your partner asks you to try something, the answer may be yes. Remember, 'trying' is all that you have to commit to. That being said....

You can try incorporating sex toys for couples. Get a basic pair of sex handcuffs or a role play costumes and do your experimentation while you pretend not to be yourself. You might be surprised by how easily the creativity can flow the relationship can open up, even for the "sexually vanilla type".

And this is just the teeny tiny beginning of what is available in the way of sexual experimentation in your relationship. Go on, give it a try. You might just shock yourself.

Christa Sizz -- relationship counselor and owner of http://www.sensualsizz.com , http://www.sensualsizz.com/sex-toys-for-women

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