First reaction was I couldn’t believe my ears, definitely not cancer for someone like me. There must be some mistake. Maybe the doctor must have exchanged my report with someone else’s report. No.. not me of all the people in the world!! I have always been very health conscious, eating the right kind of food and also exercising. Even if I were to fall sick it used to be only common cold or fever and that too very rarely. Besides there has never been any family history. And the news was like an atom bomb. The whole family was shattered, especially my daughter, mother and husband. Though I couldn’t believe myself, surprisingly, I seemed to be very brave and bold on the first day where I had to motivate my mother and daughter not to cry. I told them that there must be some cure to this as there is so much research being done in this field. Definitely we should be able to find some solution.

To me cancer itself means death with lots of suffering in a very short span (I think I was influenced by the movies where the hero or the heroin suffering from cancer definitely dies towards the end of the movie). I found myself silently thinking a thousand things at the same time. Instead of thinking about the treatment and cure I started thinking about what are the things I need to complete before I died!! Now, when I look back I feel it was all very silly and cinematic.

My husband who lives abroad flew to Bangalore the very same day. All his visits to Bangalore are very happy ones and for the first time after so many years he came home with a heavy heart. It took all of us a day for the reality to sink in and then my husband in his management style started working on solutions to the problem. He browsed the internet day and night trying to find out if there is a cure for cancer in alternative medicines or if there has been any advancement in technology wherein we could get rid of the dreadful disease in a simple manner. He learned and educated himself so much that we used to think he knew much more than the doctors about the latest advancements!!

All the research by my husband was being done only because I refused to undergo surgery, be it lumpectomy or mastectomy, even core needle biopsy and above all I did not want to undergo chemo wherein I had to lose my hair. The chemo therapy was one thing I feared the most in the whole treatment and I just did not want it.

After doing extensive research for a couple of days my husband was convinced with 3 non invasive treatments, rfqmr in Bangalore, hifu (High intensity focused ultra sound surgery) in china and mrgfus (MRI guided focused ultra sound surgery) in Japan. I took two cycles of rfqmr. I felt it did work very well but still the fear lingered in my mind and hence my husband and I went to Japan to check out regarding mrgfus treatment. But unfortunately, I did not qualify for the MRGFUS treatment since the lump was too close to the skin. Besides, the doctor there suggested mastectomy.

For nearly 9 months I was only on alternative treatments like rfqmr and homeopathy. Though both the treatments were very good, I still wanted something where I was fully convinced. Then, came the article on cyberknife in Times of India. I was very excited when I read the article. I browsed the net for more details and to my dismay found that except breast it was being used in other parts of the body. Still, I fixed an appointment with Dr Kumaraswamy who later on put me onto Dr Ajay Kumar. I was very happy that Dr Ajay Kumar did not suggest lumpectomy or mastectomy as he believed in saving the breast of a woman as far as possible. But, I had no choice with chemo therapy since I had to be put on to systemic treatment as there were mild traces of cancer in my lungs too.

Meanwhile, Dr Ajai Kumar introduced me to another patient Ms Heena (whose article is also being published) suffering from similar problem. Now, this changed my total view about the treatment. I was surprised to see that she was looking so normal and energetic and no one can ever make out that she had cancer and was undergoing chemo. She has been my inspiration and I thought if she could manage I could too. And just as she had told me the whole treatment was very manageable.

The only thing I felt sad about chemo is the loss of hair. But, with the motivation from my mother, daughter and husband, over a period of time I did not feel bad about that too!! My husband and daughter said it was too small a thing to worry about. And everything would come back once the treatment is over.

Three weeks after all the 6 cycles were completed; doctor put me on to cyberknife since I did not want to undergo lumpectomy. It’s the simplest treatment (I think even better than Hifu and Mrgfus since even these noninvasive treatments had some side effects like skin reddening, etc). The treatment was just 45 minutes for 3 days. Now, I am free of treatment and waiting to see my Pet scan which is due in October.

Looking back, I feel very lucky to be blessed with a beautiful family. They have stood me throughout the treatment. Not one day did they complain about my short tempered tantrums. Instead, they continued to shower a lot of love and affection on me which has also helped me a great deal to face the treatment.

I thank God and pray to bless all my friends, relatives, nurse and doctors who have been very helpful and motivated me in every stage of my treatment.

Today, I feel very proud to say that I am in a position to motivate other patients and tell them that chemo is indeed manageable and cancer is definitely curable if detected early. All we need to do is keep ourselves motivated and try our best to stay happy. Also, with so much of research being done in this field the treatment for cancer might be as simple as treating flu or cold!!

Life is very precious and I want to live every moment of it!