How To Stop Those First Date Jitters
- Author Angela Selfridge
- Published December 6, 2011
- Word count 476
Going on a first date can be very nerve wracking. We all get nervous beforehand because we desire it to work out well and that we truly connect with the other person. We let fears creep into our minds even though we most likely shouldn't. However, there are some simple tricks that you can do to stop those first date jitters.
The most important thing that you can do is to be yourself. I know we see many images of prince charming in movies and in books and think that we have to be like that but if you try to be someone that you are not, you will never truly connect with the other person and you will only be presenting a lie. Plus, if you are spending a lot of effort being someone you are not, then you aren't spending enough effort getting to know the other person.
In order to reduce distractions you need to have the date planned out. Nothing is less impressive and puts more anxiety on you than showing up for a date and not knowing what you are going to do. If you have each part of the evening planned out, you will be more relaxed and can concentrate on what you need to concentrate on, the other person.
Realise that the other person has the same fears as you do. You may be scared and afraid but so is the other person. You may be nervous but so it the other person. Realising that you are not alone in your first date jitters makes it more comforting that you are not alone.
The most important thing you can do is to engage the other person. Getting a conversation started is very important at the beginning. It can take the edge off as silence only serves to increase anxiety. Be sure and think of a topic to start talking about and a question to ask the other person to get them talking as well. Make sure the conversation is balanced and that both people feel comfortable with the topic. Once you get rolling into a conversation that you both enjoy, you will feel all the anxiety melt away and those first date jitters will be nothing more than an afterthought.
One last note, if possible lean on your support group before the date and arrange to lean on them after the date. Knowing that your friends are behind you while you are on your date and that they will be there for you after the date is very important to share the excitement if it goes well and to love you for who you are if it does not go well. It can really melt away your fears knowing that you are not entering this date alone and no matter what happens you still have people that love you.
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