The choices we make, whether it’s food, how many activities we involve ourselves in, how much "stress" and responsibilities we take on, etc., are more subconscious that you may realize.

People tend to seek out what is considered "familiar" and therefore reflect the choices we make across all areas of our life. When we are confronted with choices, we default to the familiar, "known" territory.

For instance, say you are shopping at a local store and you grab a laundry detergent, favorite can of beans for the chili, and some salad dressing. Your choices require very little thought process; you grab what you have already decided that you prefer, and they become a familiar, comfortable brand. With some brands you may even have several choices narrowed down to 1-3 favorites. Either way, choosing one off the shelf usually requires very little brain activity so long as you are not considering changing brands. For most of us, there is more thought process in trying to remember to bring our grocery list to the store, or remembering what was written on the list that you forgot to bring with you, than deciding which brand you want to choose.

As I mentioned earlier, this idea of a person defaulting to what is familiar affects all areas of our life. Let’s take for example the situation of a woman who continues to choose abusive partners in a relationship after relationship. "Why does she continue to do this to herself?" friends wonder. She knows it is not good, she is not happy, she longs for a loving relationship and a mate who treats her kindly. She may even tell you "I feel like a magnet for dirt-bags". Yet there she is right back in another abusive relationship.

One reason may go back to her own sub-conscious recognition of and choice of a "familiar" situation even though it is not "wanted" or in her best interest. Some people may use the word "comfortable" rather than "familiar".

Comfortable in this situation does NOT mean happy, desirous, or that she wants or likes the abuse. Not at all! What it means is her brain recognizes abusive relationships as "familiar" or "comfortably recognizable" and that’s what she then is drawn to. Like the shopper, it is the brand she recognizes and knows, and grabs a hold of.

Why does she recognize this situation if the first place? Perhaps she was raised in a home where this was seen. Or perhaps she was exposed to this type of relationship through other influential people in her life. Or maybe a pattern was established in an earlier relationship and she was not able to break out of the pattern. For whatever reason, "the bar was set" and she became familiar with the dysfunctional situation; she learned to live in it.

So each time she was single and started seeking a new relationship, sub-consciously her brain was drawn to the familiar, recognizable "comfort zone of DIS-comfort."

Comfort zone is not limited to a relationship; it spans many aspects of one’s life and choices. Food choices and exercise patterns are two areas of choice that relate to overall health and ability to control stress. We "default" to what we have grown accustomed to so when times are rough and we are under more stress it becomes harder to change these patterns.

So what comfort zone of dis-comfort are you in, and what will it take to break out of this pattern and "re-set" the bar?

Try these steps:

•Decide what you really want in life; what changes in your life will you need to implement to get to your goal?

•Commit some time to really giving this some thought. How motivated are you? How will your life be different if these changes become reality?

•Stay positive – everything you are and will be starts first as a thought.

•Make a plan – How will you get there?

•Determine your support network. Who can you turn to for advice, help, support?

•Take your first step.

•Have patience with yourself – take a step each day toward your goal.

•Time – Time – Time! With time, new choices become routine which become habit, which become the new "familiar" and you have "re-set the bar to a new level.