You just know that any t-shirts designed by Lady Gaga would be the most eye-catching, creative and provocative items on the market. As an ever-changing chameleon of artistic expression, she would perhaps produce a new design every few months – always eagerly awaited and snapped up by the fashion pack.

Lady Gaga might create a t-shirt from a bizarre fabric, made from meshed metal, or plastic pellets, or spider’s silk. The cut and shape of one of her t-shirt would of course be dramatic and not very comfortable to wear. But that isn’t the point – wearing one of her t-shirts would be all about making a statement, without investing in a complete designer outfit.

In another range from the imaginary Lady Gaga t-shirt label, I’m sure there would be a series of visual jokes to play on. Perhaps a t-shirt which looks as if it is made from raw meat, and one which looks as if the wearer has a torso covered in tattoos or livid scars. That is the kind of design which would stop the traffic if you wore it on the High Street. Just the sort of shocking effect that Lady Gaga likes.

The lady herself would, of course, always be at least one step ahead of her t-shirt wearing followers. Each design would be relevant to a persona she had created in the past, while she herself moves on to the next look. The t-shirt designs would be given names, just like those coveted designer handbags for which there are always waiting lists before they come into the shops. The Lady Gaga t-shirts would have names like "The Diabolical", "The Insanity" and "The Desecration".

Perhaps another idea for such a t-shirt label would be to make t-shirts that change colour. So, for example, you might put on a red t-shirt in the morning but by lunchtime it has become blue, and then green for the evening. You would have no control over the colour changes, the material would simply react to external influences such as light or oxygen. This might be called "The Feeder" as it feeds off everything around it, adapting in response to its environment.

Although technically these would just be humble t-shirts– a basic piece of clothing that we all know and love – they would become high art if they were made by Lady Gaga. Sold only through the most exclusive outlets, or possibly only available direct from the label, they would become instant collector’s items. One-off designs may be exhibited reverentially behind glass in a gallery, achieving the same legendary status as Kylie’s gold disco shorts (which can also be seen proudly displayed in a gallery somewhere right now).

Having created such a powerful image for herself it would make complete sense to market some of that creative energy through a t-shirt label. You could argue that selling t-shirts would be watering down a powerful brand, but it would enable us, the general public, to share in the Gaga vision.