How To Hold A Conversation

Self-Improvement

  • Author Paul Harrison
  • Published September 4, 2012
  • Word count 449

Many people these days seem to suffer from less than ideal social skills and communication skills and an inability to hold a conversation. Most of the time there isn't a particularly big reason why these people can't hold a conversation, they're just let down by minor error here and there. By getting rid of these errors a person can quickly and substantially improve their ability to hold a conversation.

So what are the most common problems that hold a person back from successfully holding a conversation?

Listening: One of the most common problems is simply not listening to the person they're speaking to. You have to stop thinking about yourself and genuinely listen to what someone is saying to you in order to know what to say back to them.

Not giving enough: Another common error is that people, when asked a question, don't say enough in response. Some people asked what they do for a living, will just say, "I'm a builder." They'll say noting more than that. This leaves nowhere for the conversation to develop. You have to give more details. If someone asked what you do for a living, tell them what you do, where you do it, whether you enjoy it, whether there is something you would rather do. . . give the other person details so they have something to say back to you.

Speaking Coherently: no one is going to hold a conversation for a long time with someone they have to strain to hear; there's just no pleasure in it. If you want people to make the effort of listening to you, show them the decency of speaking clearly enough that they can hear you without straining.

Don't Sweat: So you don't know what to say and you feel awkward. Don't sweat it. Simply state, confidently, "I'm sorry I was miles away, can you ask me again?" or something to that effect. People will not mind because other people are human too and sometimes they themselves don't know what to say. If you truly don't know what to say, just tell them. Trust me, they won't mind, provided you make clear that you do want to chat but just didn't know what to say.

Stop trying to impress people: probably the number one reason people feel awkward when talking is that they don't feel comfortably enough to just chill out and say what they want. You have to learn to relax if you are to hold a conversation. Just chill and say what you want to. You don't need to impress anyone, and in my experience, when you actively try to impress people you fail. What really does impress people is just being yourself.

Paul Harrison is owner and author or http://arolemodel.com, which includes great articles on good communication skills and conversations, improving communication skills and more.

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