Do Professional People who Care for Others Really Need a Support Person?
- Author Helen Thamm
- Published December 3, 2012
- Word count 470
I hope your answer to that question is a great big "yes"! Sometimes professional caretaking people are so busy helping others all day at work (and often afterwards taking care of family at home) we don’t even consider we have need for any emotional support ourselves.
I remember having complaint sessions with peer friends. We would talk about how we did most of the workload, how we were underappreciated and even how some other colleagues were disrespectful to us. Afterwards, though, I really didn’t feel much better. Luckily the few work friends I trusted at least didn’t repeat what I said, as we were similar people with good boundaries. At least I hope they never divulged confidences. I would not recommend in general trusting someone you work with as often your personal conversations won’t stay confidential.
I suggest discussing your personal issues/feelings with a confidante who does not have any relationship with anyone at your job. I also recommend sharing your feelings about what happened when you are upset, not just tell the story. For example, rather than just going over and over the incident, often getting more upset with every retell, try to identify what negative beliefs were triggered by it. Some common misbeliefs include: Somehow you aren’t good enough, the world is not a safe place, or life is not fair.
While it might take someone who specializes in correcting false beliefs usually learned in childhood, to help deal with deeper issues, just sharing with a confidante that your feelings were hurt or that you felt disrespected, can help get your power back. i.e. it is not so much what happens to us, but how we perceive the behavior or situation. You can then gain support from that person who in addition to respectfully listening to you can remind you what a super friend you are. They might also say something validating like: "he really was acting like a jerk!"
Healthy friends might also be able to help you reframe a situation and even see your part in whatever is happening as well so you can adjust your behavior and become more proactive.
For example a person makes what I perceive as a sarcastic or demeaning remark, but I sigh and roll my eyes in response. I could more assertively say something like: "that sounded disapproving to me, but what did you mean?" Passive-aggressive people will tend to "back pedal". They might not tell the truth, but often will back off if they are asked to explain themselves.
Supportive people are not just good listeners, they help us by letting us know we are good, worthy, etc. and at times can even assist us to look at situations with fresh eyes so we can adjust our responses to be more proactive.
Helen M. Thamm, APRN,CPC is a certified career success and wellness coach. She is the author of the new manager’s success toolkit book: How to Manage with a Magic Wand (No, Don’t Hit Your "Problem Employees" over the Head with it!) and co-author with Dr. John Ellis of the bestselling book: The Wellness Code. Visit nursecareersuccess.com for a free copy of her eBook "How to knockout burnout and beat bully behavior".
Article source: https://articlebiz.comRate article
Article comments
There are no posted comments.
Related articles
- The Role of Lighting Stores in Brampton: Shaping Spaces for the Future
- The Role of Commercial Cleaning Services in Auckland: A Comprehensive Guide
- Exploring the World of Chauffeur Service: Benefits, Challenges, and Best Practices
- Nerds and Geeks: They still live on!
- IQ Tests: History, Uses, and Choosing a Reliable Resource
- 8 Great Ways To Teach Kids About Oral Hygiene
- App Development as a Catalyst for Business Growth
- Costs of arranging a Mortgage in Spain
- TikTok and Instagram: Ways you will grow and learn.
- Mustang GT: Ford Motor Company is a Rising Force!
- 10 Ways to Transform Production Scheduling in Business Central
- Elevating Your Home with Bold Decor and Vintage Carved Doors
- The Ultimate Skin Care Guide for Every Weather
- Do I Need Insurance When I Rent a Boat?
- Casino Bonuses: How to Maximize Your Rewards and Enhance Your Gameplay
- Was Joseph Stalin a good or bad leader of the Soviet Union?
- Top 5 Slots with the Highest RTP: A Winning Guarantee or a Myth?
- The Thrill of the Hunt Discovering the World of Location-Based Entertainment
- How Much Is the Hermès Cleaning Fee?
- Does Hermès Offer Free Repairs?
- The history of gun control in Australia
- Digital Marketing
- How to Mix and Match: Tips for Building Versatile Outfits from Your Wardrobe
- The Significance of Commercial Cleaning Services in Auckland: A Key Element of the Modern Cleaning Industry
- How RTP Impacts Online Casino Gaming: A Guide for Players and Operators
- How Authentic Employee Reviews Boost Employer Branding
- How to Choose the Best Online Casino: 5 Simple Steps
- Guaranteed Auto Financing
- Transform The Mudroom for The Festive Season
- Rustic Thanksgiving Ambiance with Farmhouse-inspired Doors