Are You a Queen or Still a Princess?

As a child, I never had the desire to be a princess or a Queen until recently. I didn’t value the very essence of what a Queen really meant. I was stuck in princess mode until everything changed.

I was battling separating from my husband who I’d known for 18 years, broke, tired, confused, losing my home and no source of income….it was becoming overwhelming and I just wanted a change. I wanted to press the reset button. I had to lose everything to gain everything. Finally, in my princess mentality, I was willing to go through whatever I had to go through to get to my Queen-ish.

Just because you age in years doesn’t mean you mature.

Learning to be the Queen I am today, there was much work to be done. I had to let go of the victim mentality I was carrying for so long. I constantly stayed on alert for when the "princess behaviors" came into play and attempted to hold me back.

Previously, as a princess, I battled with not letting things go, arguing, complaining, whining and caring about what people thought of me. Now, I work daily to staying at the Queenish level and check myself whenever I feel like I am going back to princesshood. If I go back there, I know I will create so much drama and chaos in my life that simply isn’t worth it. I’m not going back.

So, I take off the crown and return to the throne, over and over again.

Which one are you ~ Queen or Princess?

Check out how to know the difference.

Princess Mindsets

Rescue me. The damsel in distress wants Prince Charming to come along and sweep her off her feet. She wants to be rescued — from her finances, health, career, the world and from herself when the job should be hers.

Lacks Understanding & Gratitude. Princesses can appear spoiled, because she tends to focus on what she doesn’t have versus all that she’s been given.

Tell me who I am and I’ll believe you. Nothing makes a Princess smile more than others telling her how amazing she is or defining who she is. She needs her partner to tell her that she’s beautiful, her friends to put her on a pedestal and her co-workers to celebrate her every move. She gets giddy from external validation; her world turns dark without it. There’s no thought on her own of who she truly is. She allows others to define that for her.

It’s all about me. She’s not concerned with how others feel. With his princess, the world revolves around her.

Give me permission. The Princess needs permission before she does what she does. And, if she doesn’t get it, she usually just sits around blaming others and feeling ashamed.

There is Never Enough. This Princess lives with a fear of her well running dry. She sees life through competition and comparison. Is she prettier than me? Is she smarter than me? More successful than me? Better than me? This is how she ranks herself among her competitors. We know comparison is the thief of all joy.

I don’t want to look bad. Because the Princess loves to be adored, she will avoid looking bad at all costs. Image is everything. She doesn’t even care if she can’t afford the lifestyle she is portraying. This will hold her back on so many levels. She won’t take risks… too afraid of looking bad. She avoids any situation that could expand her growth.

Queen Mindset

I AM the Creator of my Life/Reality.

A Queens presence proclaims that she is in charge of her life, and that her main role is to master herself and create a kingdom that she loves.

How may I serve you? The Queen understands that a life built on service and offering value is the key to a well-lived life. And, because she doesn’t live in lack, she is filled with abundance. She wants to see everyone thrive and uplevel themselves. She doesn’t mind helping them along the way.

I don’t need your permission. A Queen doesn’t ask others if it’s okay. She doesn’t wait for them to say go. She grants herself the permission to do what she wishes when she wishes to.

I AM who I AM. Unlike the Princess, who’s always looking outside of herself, the Queen looks within and knows who she is and what she values/honors. These are the building blocks to her present and future.

Knows That Time Is Precious. A Queen manages her time wisely. And, while she loves others, she knows she needs her own space and cannot be everything to everyone, every moment. She takes the time to care for herself before she can care for anyone else.

Grace & Elegance. A Queen knows that true grace starts from within herself. Elegance has nothing to do with her wardrobe or looks; it’s about how she feels inside. She shines like the light she is and when others see her, they notice the magnificence within her. It is so rare today and people don’t take it lightly when they notice it. And, that experience radiates as powerful, happy and humble.

I AM blessed and I AM a creator. The Queen adores her life and all that she has, but she also loves creating. She has desires, and she’s not ashamed of them. Her goals are huge and they seem to scare others and that is how she knows she is moving in the right direction. She doesn’t desire more to fill a hole; she desires more because she knows she’s powerful enough to create it.

Failure is part of the process. A Queen knows that creating a fulfilling life requires taking risks and failure. However, because she doesn’t let that fear stop her, she reaps beautiful rewards. Plus, she doesn’t see it as a failure just merely a lesson learned, and a Queen never stops doing. She is fearless.

You don’t have to like me. When you stand for something, not everyone will agree. And, that’s okay if you’re a Queen. She still will move with respect and honor in the kingdom.

Her Cup Runneth Over. A Queen is constantly dropping jewels a.k.a planting seeds wherever she goes. If she sees a need, she fills it. If she sees a problem, she solves it. She doesn’t make excuses and just does what has to be done. In return, she is blessed with more than enough for herself and generations to come.

Which one are you? As I mentioned to you, I was all in the princess mindset but I had to get sick and tired of being sick and tired to stay there. I knew there was more than what I was experiencing.

The question now becomes: which mindset is leading your life?

Give that inner princess a hug, tell her Bye Felicia and let her know that she’s got to go. It’s time to get Queenish.

Remember, a Queen commits to more love and less fear in her life. The results? Life loves her back, abundantly.

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