Hey everyone! I hope everyone is doing well on this excellent day! I guess I should introduce myself. I'm Renea and today I was thinking about my upbringing. Early in my life my mother showed me on a constant basis what love is , and what it looked like. Being raised in a single parent home was fun for me. Also as an only child I got to be the focal point of my mother...yes I was spoiled by love and attention. So, as my life changed In my adulthood I had to relearn things about love and what I wanted in my future. Did I want more or just to continue with how I was already living?

My Understanding on Love

So as I was thinking this morning about those four letters, no not Hurt but Love. Even though love raised me, my life changed and the love that was shown by my mother was somewhat a memory. Now I realized that Love really is a gift.

This morning, My Love and I were talking about different things we want to do, like to do. Also,where we want to be in a year from now. In this season of both of our lives, we have gone through a few things in our relationship. In life, I find that it's often loud but the times that I'm just sitting next to my now husband, we are talking about our Dreams, how many children we want and everything. The world gets quiet, and the only thing that matters is us. It's funny that in life we want things and when we actually get them, we can look at them, touch them, and we wonder where was this years ago. Am I the only person that thinks like that?

My Progression

So, as we are in this part of my life I was thinking about something. Do we know what love really is? No, I'm not singing the song from Foreigner. But do we really know what love is?

In my life, I have learned many rules and have been hurt by people I never thought I would, But after getting it wrong it's a blessing to get it right. I have been in very toxic relationships and felt like "I was nothing ". I felt like there had to be an opposite from everything I was dealing with. But something I never thought about was the life that my now husband was living before we met. So, I believe we began the process of learning to love ourselves since love must start with us and then to others. My Husband's previous marriage was a bit complicated, and he dealt with drama and when things got difficult for him, when he got paralyzed; He was left to have to live in a nursing home. On the flip side, I had a string of just bad relationships. I was always taught that education was crucial , and being an educated woman was always met with some kind of friction. I was looked at as high maintenance or even just a bank clerk...of which I am neither.

So, now I eventually had to really do some soul searching, I began to realize that I can't ask someone to give me something I had not given myself. I had to learn so many things, like really seeing myself. A friend of mine let me listen to a Cd about living a whole single life. I started traveling more, and doing more at church and just enjoying my friends who held me accountable, I became consumed with making myself better, a better me attracts a better next. I had a desire to have a long-term relationship with a man that was going to add to my life and not take away. Believe me, it still got hard at times but I realized I would rather have an empty side of the bed, then to just have someone in bed with me. I refused to be unhappy anymore. So, I took the time to learn about myself, my interests, since I read'' your interests make you interesting." It's important that you be selfish when you are single and getting to know yourself.

Look at me Now

So,after being single for some years, and still being content in my life. I met someone, no I didn't hear violins or harps lol.. He sent me a message and I was actually a bit hesitant. My life had proven that many guys that talked to me only saw one thing and even though I wanted a long term happy healthy relationship, I thought he just wanted my body, but something happened that I didn't anticipate. He was Incredibly persistent with me.It became refreshing that everything he said to me, he would back it up with his actions. He became a part of my life,and he was genuine. Eventually the walls that I spent years building up, they came down and I let him in.

Even when I let him in and we officially got into a relationship, we still went through tests and trials. But in love there is sacrifice, and mostly understanding. Our relationship hasn't made sense to many people. But when you have something special you don't throw it away. In love you really have to make decisions as a couple and not let everyone else make decisions about the two people. As a couple, we learned to depend on each other. This blessed us when we made the biggest step in our relationship.

Happily Ever After

On May 14, 2021 we got married and I'm grateful that I let him in and that now we are starting our new chapter together. In marriage, there is still understanding and decisions. I make the decision every day to stick by him,not just when it's sunny but especially when it's rainy.. So, I hope that you know that Real Love is possible, but you must love yourself first. Continue to know that love gives to you and doesn't take away.. Hope this helps! Be blessed!