It was like any other evening, another day of waiting, another day of uncertainty. Like many fresh graduates in Nigeria, I was anxiously anticipating the release of the NYSC Senate list. I had just finished my university degree, I had no means of learning a skill or handwork as my Nigerian people calls it, cause there was no money for me to learn with and there was no place for me to work in my area cause it’s a new and developing area and if I were to get work far to town I would need transport fare which I couldn’t afford, nobody to help me as well, and I had no choice but to wait on NYSC senate list to be released from my school. During that time we weren’t sure we would be eligible for NYSC that year, I mean I and my course mates, cause the information we had was that we had to wait for more months. So I started to learn free courses online, that could help me gain knowledge on being a better writer, and many other courses too.

I had already started giving up hope. And then I saw my friends and colleagues had started making alternative plans for their lives; starting businesses, learning a skill, having connections to jobs and applying for jobs and securing internships, I felt stuck and unsure of what was next. I kept thinking and getting angry at myself and my situation, I see my friends doing something and I am unsure of what to do, I felt like a complete loser.

Then one evening, everything changed. My friend texted me to inform me that: our name had been added to the senate list for the next month. I felt relieved, maybe even excited, but as I had conversations with friends and noticed their reactions, I realized I was the only one who was actually happy about it. Not because I was eager to serve the country; if anything, the thought of NYSC itself didn’t excite me. But because it meant I could finally leave the house, I was happy.

But then, doubt crept in. Was I making the wrong choice? My friends weren’t thrilled about NYSC, so why was I? Would I regret it later? Was I chasing an opportunity, or just running away?

For years, my home had felt like a cage, a place where my every move was controlled and questioned. I lacked freedom, my parents grip on my life was suffocating, and NYSC felt like the only way out, even if it was temporary. Unlike my friends, who hesitated because they had other plans or stable sources of income, I had nothing else going on. That realization made me feel even worse, like I was going for NYSC simply because I had no other choice, because I had nothing "serious" to do with my life.

One of my biggest struggles in life has always been making decisions without the validation of others. I’ve always feared taking a path different from the people around me.

The thought of going to NYSC while most of my friends were staying back terrified me.

I asked myself:

• What if I’m making a mistake?

• What if I’m the only one who goes?

• What if I regret this later?

All my life, I had drawn confidence from moving in groups finding safety in numbers. But now, I had to decide whether I was willing to step out on my own.

One person’s reaction changed everything. The first person who broke the news to me was extremely happy, not for herself, but for me. She knew how badly I wanted this. She understood that for me, this wasn’t about NYSC; it was about freedom. It was in that moment I realized that sometimes, the steps we take in life aren’t always about following the expected path; they’re about survival, about doing whatever it takes to find freedom and figure out our next move. And It didn’t matter if my friends weren’t happy about it. It didn’t matter if I had to do this alone. What mattered was that I had wanted this for a reason, and I owed it to myself to see it through.

Even after the realization, I still felt weird. I was scared. Scared to take a step alone. Scared of feeling left behind. Scared that I was making a decision that didn’t make sense to anyone but me. But maybe that’s the point. Maybe not every decision in life has to align with what everyone else was doing. Maybe sometimes, the right step is simply the one that helps you breathe.

So, I made a decision; I would stop overthinking and trust my own journey.

Not everyone follows the same timeline in life. Some of my friends already had ways to make money. Others had plans that didn’t involve NYSC. But my journey was different, and that was okay.

For me, NYSC wasn’t just about a career move it was a step toward finding myself beyond the walls of my home.

Yes, the fear of uncertainty still lingers. But one thing is certain: I am learning to make decisions based on what I truly need, not based on what others think.

And like I read somewhere, taking a step forward isn’t about following the most successful path it’s about choosing yourself, even when others don’t understand.

For the first time, I’m choosing freedom over fear. I don’t have everything figured out, but I’m taking this step for me. And that’s enough.

I’m still learning to be comfortable with that choice. I’m still learning to let go of the fear of walking alone. But if there’s one thing I now understand, it’s this:

The path to self-discovery often requires walking alone. And that’s okay.

So, as NYSC approaches, I remind myself of this: I may not have everything figured out like my friends, and that’s okay. This is my journey, and I’m learning to trust it.

• • •

Have you ever taken a different path from your peers? Share your thoughts in the comments!