When you are looking for a casual sexual relationship instead of romance you really have two options, one night stands with new people or a friends with benefits relationship where you have an ongoing sexual liaison with the same person. So which one is the best path to take? It depends on how important safety, excitement, and casualness are for you.

Unfortunately safety is an issue in this day and age. If you are meeting people in bars or over the internet for one off casual sexual encounters there is a real danger of being physically assaulted or robbed. This is less likely if you are involved with someone you know and have a relationship with. And if something does happen with an acquaintance at least you know enough information like their name, phone number and address that they can be arrested for the crime. Sexually transmitted diseases are another concern. While safer sex practices like condoms and dental dams will protect against many diseases there are some, including crabs and genital herpes, that can be transmitted even with their use. If you have a friends with benefits arrangement it is easier to go in for regular testing together to make sure that everything is okay. Keep in mind that even if you are having sex with someone you know you still should be using protection since they may be involved with other people. You can’t tell if someone has an STD just by looking at them. If you are a guy having sexual relationships with a woman always use a condom, even if they claim to be on the pill. The pill isn’t 100% and there are lots of men out there paying child support because of an Oops child. Keep it covered. It’s better safe then pregnant.

While friends with benefit arrangements can be safer they can also lack the excitement of one night stands. There is something primal about meeting someone and getting physical without even knowing their name. With one night stands it is new experiences all the time. Of course there is always the possibility that those new experiences won’t be very good. It is the difference between trying new restaurants all the time and always going to the same place. One is more exciting but the other is more dependable. Another problem with friends with benefit arrangements is that there will likely be times when you want sex and the other person just isn’t in the mood. You never have that concern with one night stands. You just go looking when you want it and stay home when you don’t. On the other hand, a continuing friends with benefits relationship can be exciting because you get to know what turns them on and they know how to get you hot.

The final thing to consider is how casual you want the relationship to be. With one night stands there is not a risk of emotional involvement since you don’t have time to build that bond with the other person. But sometimes those bonds are good. Having someone who you can talk to and laugh with after sex can be nice. However, there is a real risk of friends with benefits turning into one sided romantic relationships. It isn’t unusual for one party in these affairs to start to fall in love with the other person. If you want to keep things casual and they want to move it into something more it can be awkward and painful. If you are in that type of situation it is best to end things completely instead of stringing them along with the hope that they, or you, will change. If you find that you have a habit of trying to turn sexual relationships into love then maybe you should stick to one night stands, or just accept that you get your kicks from monogamy and find a relationship based on more then sex.

What’s better, one night stands or friends with benefits? It is all up to you. In either case, if you know what you want going into it you will be able to get what you need out of it.