This is the centerpiece for anyone who wishes to be truly happy with his or her life. To create the life that you desire, it is imperative that you are the one selecting it. This may sound obvious yet most people lead lives that someone else chose for them. While it is true that they made decisions along the way, many aspects of their lives were chosen by others. Typically, it is these areas that create the most conflict. When one is following his or her true nature, nothing can result but serenity and happiness. Certainly obstacles or conflict occurs. Yet, overall, one is basically happy about the path they are following.

Societal conditioning is a powerful mechanism that influences in more ways that anyone cares to admit. Common sense would say that adults in a free society have the ability to live any way that they desire as long as it is within the confines of legality. While this is true, few exercise this privilege. The freedom granted by the political structure overridden by the imprisonment of oneself. The walls of confinement are established over many years by those who are closest to us. For the majority of us, this is our family.

Why does this occur? If our family are the ones who love us the most, how come they do the most damage to us? To begin, it is important to note that this is an inadvertent consequence on their part. Our family is simply doing what they feel is best for us. They love us more than anyone else and aim to help us achieve all the happiness possible. Unfortunately, the path to this end is different for everyone. True success comes from finding our natural calling and following that. Everyone is given a variety of talents in different areas. Some are happy playing with numbers while others want to create beautiful music. Each is right and each is wrong depending on the person. Trying to force an 'artist' into a career in numbers will result in a great deal of misery.

Growing up, we are exposed to a range of 'lifestyles'. While most people do not think of it in this broad of a context, anything that is chosen as a part of our life makes up our lifestyle. If we analyze all the different options available to us, we understand what makes us who we are. For example, we have options when it comes to schooling, careers, political affiliation, religion or spiritual matters, sexual orientation, and living arrangements. These are just a few areas that contribute to the life we lead. However, how many of these (and others) did we consciously decide for ourselves. Take religion for example. There are hundreds of different routes one can choose to follow. Yet most seem to abide by the teachings of their upbringing. Even if they drift away, when they return to their spiritual nature it is usually through the entity they know. The same can be seen in career choices. How many people follow career paths because their parents wanted them to be that? Is this something that the individual chose? For some it is still in line with their calling. However, there are many who wanted to do something else. I wonder how many doctors truly desired to be cartoonists yet were talked out of it for the sake of being responsible? Perhaps we are missing the second coming of Charles Schultz.

Take a look at your life. Is this what you truly want to do with your time on this planet? Are you living in the area that you desire or did you move back home to be close to the family? Were you influenced by others in your choice in partners? Is there are 'secret' that you feel you cannot share with others about what you desire sexually? Do you want to be a nudist but are fearful of what people will think? Are you in the profession that you crave or is there something else that you deeply desire to do? Do you want to have children while finding yourself with someone who does not? How did you derive at your political beliefs; are they the result of study or simply just a copy of what your parents believe? Have you taken the time to uncover your spiritual beliefs? Does your present path of faith work or leave you unfulfilled? If you answer any of these questions in the negative, it is time to determine where those decisions came from. Making the selections that fit in line with your desires can only result in a happier life.

It takes a great deal of courage to honestly look at oneself. Choosing a life that you want will expose you to the ridicule of others. Most do not have the capability to embark on this endeavor. As Thoreau wrote, 'most live a life of quiet desperation'. Simply, they are not totally happy with their choices (or the ones chosen for them). The instinct to put one down is great. It is how they derive pleasure. Perhaps they will mask it as being concerned. Nevertheless, they ultimately will be projecting their beliefs upon you. This is what has occurred throughout your entire life. Begin to change this by answering the aforementioned questions honestly. If you uncover something amiss, make the necessary changes to get in line with your true self. In spite of the opinions of others, it will bring you more joy than you could ever imaging.