I didn't feel comfortable talking to people. My friends would organize social events and I wouldn't go, even when I wanted to. Why? I didn't know. I came up with lots of lame excuses for not wanting to go. But deep down I was dying to attend these events - I just couldn't. I know you know the feeling.

I thought I was shy.

So what? Some people are extroverts, some are introverts. Some are tall, some are short. I was shy. That's who I was. Some people told me to just "assume" who I was, "accept" it, and be happy. Of course, the problem is that I assumed who I was - I just didn't like it and I was certainly NOT happy! If you were happy "being who you are" right now, chances are you wouldn't be reading this.

It took me a while to realize I wasn't shy or different. I was sick.

You are NOT a social phobic. You HAVE social phobia.

This is an absolutely vital point to understand. As long as you see social phobia as part of your personality, a part of who you are, you'll never get rid of it. Your attitude from now on must be "I'm NOT a social phobic - I HAVE social phobia". Read it again. Read it aloud. Scream it. Read it every time you wake up. Convince yourself that's the true.

You aren't "different". You aren't "weird". You just have a disease, just like when you have a cold. And just like when you have a cold, you can get rid of it.

What is social phobia?

I don't care about the definition, and you shouldn't either - you have it, you know you have it, you suffer it every day, so it's real enough without the need of a fancy technical definition.

No, what I mean is, what's the exact nature of the disease?

I thought a lot about it, and came to this simple conclusion : you are wrong.

You can't measure social phobia. They can't detect social phobia in a blood test. Why? Because it's a problem that only exists inside your head. That's actually very good news! There's nothing seriously wrong with you, you just have an imaginary problem, and once you realize it you'll be on your way to a cure.

No matter what's the belief that causes your social phobia, it's most likely a wrong belief. That's the key to a successful social anxiety treatment.

Where did this belief come from? Maybe from a bad experience when you were a kid or a teen. It was definitely my case.

Now ask yourself - are you still listening to the naive, immature reaction of that kid? You've grown up! Now you have a better understanding about how the world works, you realize what mortified you as a kid was probably very inane. So why do you allow these petty problems be in control of your life today?

Realize you're wrong. When you are surrounded by people, most of them aren't looking at you. Of the few that are, most aren't judging you anyway. They aren't thinking you look or act stupid. Most likely they don't even notice you.

Once you internalize these key concepts, getting rid of your social anxiety without the need of an expensive or long treatment will be way easier.