When Your Little Girl Grows Up: Tips for Buying Her First Bra
- Author P. Williards
- Published December 13, 2007
- Word count 804
Think back several years ago to a time when you were a young, awkward child with hormones raging, and a changing body. Whether you were a male or a female, chances are adolescence was one of the most uncomfortable times in your life. Your parents or another trusted adult took you aside and gave your that dreaded talk about the birds, the bees, and the new rules and guidelines that came with your entrance into the young adult world. For those of you with daughters who are quickly becoming young women, you may be looking for a slightly less uncomfortable way to help her make her transition into this world. The most obvious signs of a young girl becoming a women are the appearance of curves, breasts, and a menstrual cycle. If you are a parent who is trying to introduce a bra into their daughter's wardrobe, you may find these tips very helpful.
When to Bring it up:
One of the hardest parts about introducing any topic concerning the body or body image of your child is finding the right time to do it.
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If she's curious: If your daughter is curious about the changes in her body, her friends are all wearing training bra's, or she's seldom uncomfortable with her body, you can bring the topic of a bra up at any time when you feel comfortable and you are in a private setting with your daughter.
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If she's uncomfortable: Even if your daughter is a little excited about the idea of wearing a bra (remember how exciting growing up seemed) she may not be comfortable talking to you about it. If your daughter looks like she wants to crawl out of her skin at the mere mention womanhood, you will need to put some thought into when you bring it up. Adolescent experts recommend that you approach the subject in an non confrontation environment where there is no need to maintain constant eye contact. Situations that force the two of your to sit side by side, like car rides, or watching tv on the couch can offer your child space and a distraction should they feel uncomfortable.
Helpful Tips
- Set an Example: Once your daughter starts to become familiar with the female body, usually between 9 and 13, you need to set a positive example for her Mothers who don't take pride in their bodies will most likely have daughters that lack the same confidence. What does that mean for you? If your a female it means to take pride in your body when your daughter is around. Save comments about your lack of satisfaction with your breasts, your hips, or your tummy for when your daughter in ear range. If your the father, steer clear of derogatory comments made at the expensive of women. Your daughter is at a very vulnerable age and will take any and all comments about the female body into consideration and then judge her own against what you have said.
Setting a good example is also important when it comes to actually purchasing a bra. If you walk into the store, head down, and grab the first bra you see, your daughter will sense the shame you brought in with you. Walk in as a confident women who is proud to be so. If you don't think you can confidently face the lingerie section, you may want to have your daughter measures and proceed to shop online.
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Ask for Help: If you can't seem to approach the topic; if you or your daughter are extremely uncomfortable talking about sensitive subjects, or if your a dad in need of some support, you may want to look for help. If your daughter has a close bond with an aunt, cousin, grandparents, or another female in your life, consider asking them to help your daughter. Sometimes it's easier for young girls to speak to someone besides their mother when it comes to the changes in their body. Don't feel ashamed if you look for help. The goal is to inform your daughter during this stage of her life and finding help is something your best or only option.
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Be Perceptive: In order to make this transition go smoothly you need to pick up on the cues your daughter gives off. If she is uncomfortable at the mention of this and other female subject, make sure to go easy on her. Don't make it a huge deal, don't announce it to family and friends, and make your partner swear that won't tell her you told them. If she seems to be looking for you to step up and tell her what to do, taking a shopping trip and let her explore. The goal is to make this easy for her, not you so let her demeanor guide your course of action.
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