How to maintain your self-identity during your transformation into Motherhood is a struggle for Busy Moms. Here are 9 great steps to revive your spirit, boost self-esteem and remind you why you are a wonderful, beautiful, intelligent person that deserves recognition.

1. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others and Check Anyone Else Who Dares. This is probably the hardest step to follow because Moms constantly compare themselves to their sisters, neighbors, best friends, and even Martha Stewart! But the fact is that every Mom has a different situation so it’s useless to measure your self-worth against what somebody else is doing. You are a unique individual with a one-of-a-kind family and an original situation. So accept that. Love it. And quickly check anyone who makes you feel like you aren’t as good as some other Mom who has a completely different set of circumstances. The next time your Mother or Mother-In-Law tells you what wonderful things ‘Kimberly’ is doing with her fantastic family, take a moment and breathe. Don’t get emotional. Simply reply, ‘Mom, that’s so great for Kimberly and her family’, and mean it. After all, you have no idea what daily struggles and demons Kimberly faces within her own situation. Be happy for others, but accept and know that you never should dare to compare.

2. Learn to Love the Way You Look. Criticizing yourself is sure to bring your spirit down. You will find that not being pleased with your own reflection affects your energy and relationships with your friends, spouse, children, and associates. First things first: You are beautiful and you need to recognize and rejoice in that. You have to re-learn how to love the way you look. It’s easy to help yourself! Find 2 minutes to iron your clothes so you won’t look frumpy. Dab on some lipstick and blush in the morning. Toss some fresh fruit in the juicer to get a good boost of vitamins and give yourself that healthy glow. If you can’t get to the gym, pop in an exercise DVD or take the kids for a walk around the neighborhood.

3. Be Self-Assured. When in doubt, we all second-guess ourselves. Why? As a Busy Mom it’s somehow in your nature. You get so preoccupied with everything else that you aren’t as sure about things as you used to be. We all want to hear people tell us that we’re doing a good job and that we’re smart and successful. When you don’t get that type of feedback from others you begin to question your own worth. Although it’s wonderful to be acknowledged by others, you must realize that it’s most important to validate yourself. So, the next time you do a great job with the kids, look over your shoulder, snap your fingers, smile and say, “Yeah, I’ve still got it!”

4. Maintain A Positive Attitude. Trying to meet the demands of Motherhood and Marriage can have a negative affect on our attitudes and well-being. Keep your daily worries and challenges in perspective and try not to sweat the small stuff.

5. Self-Affirmations. Embrace who you are and use daily affirmations to build your confidence. Inner reflection accompanied by affirmations allows you to visualize your worth. Bring out the crayons and construction paper ‘cause its time for Moms everywhere to write down how they need to feel. Jot affirmations on sticky notes and place them in locations that you are sure to see many times throughout the day. If you want to feel beautiful and motivated write in bold letters ‘I AM BEAUTIFUL AND I CAN ACCOMPLISH MY GOALS’ and tape it to your bathroom mirror or the refrigerator. All people internalize things quite naturally and we burn images that we see in our brains. So, make the images positive affirmations that will resonate within your mind and spirit constantly.

6. Nurture Your Mental Health. You are never too old to learn and it’s never ever too late to start. You owe it to yourself to take daily mini-vacations regularly. When you feel yourself getting overwhelmed, take a restorative break. Close the door, just be still, and meditate. While the kids are asleep, read a chapter of a new book or have a cup of your favorite green tea. This is the one time for Mom to not share her time, belongings or self with others. Force yourself to engage in one or two activities each and every week that you enjoy. This will refresh you mentally so you can be in a healthy state to be the Dynamic Mom that you are. If life at home gets too hectic and you begin to feel overly anxious or deeply depressed, consider seeking professional help. There’s absolutely nothing wrong with getting counseling, and denying yourself the help won’t be good for you or your family. We all need support sometimes.

7. Surround Yourself With Positive People. Haven’t you ever heard of the crabs in the barrel? They bring everyone else down as they’re trying to get to the top. So, get rid of the people in your life with consistent crabby attitudes and unhealthy outlooks on life because they’ll inevitably bring your spirit down with their negativity. Think about how good it feels to be around people who are motivated to do good things and who enjoy life. Spend your time laughing and planning for a brighter future with other positive people who will help lift you up!

8. Have Style and Flair. You determine what your style is. You define your own new look. Take ownership in your style by creating fashion trends that fit your personality. You will feel good knowing you set your own standards and when people compliment you, be proud of your creativity.

9. Set Personal Goals. Don’t wait until New Years Eve. Set goals that are realistic and attainable for you through commitment and hard work. To stay motivated have small daily goals (and I don’t mean tasks and chores) that have nothing to do with the kids or your spouse. It’s easy to get caught up in taking care of everyone else’s needs. Busy Moms tend to forget about their own personal daily goals. Start off with something small and when you achieve that goal, congratulate yourself with a pat on the back and a proud smile in the mirror. It takes persistence to succeed, so keep at it and you will surely make it to the finish line!