I have never liked to shop while my wife made an avocation out of it. Her regular shopping excursions were stressful enough and by the time the holiday season came around I would usually be a basket case. Why is it that a woman has to look at everything in the store from flatware to underwear or try on 50 pairs of shoes? I like a man’s way of shopping where we go in a store make our purchase and leave.

As I think about my experience with spending money over years long pasts, my emotions are mixed. As a child I was raised in what today might be termed an upper middle class family. We certainly were not rich or poor. My father was a successful businessman that was raised in a middle class family that had experienced the setbacks of the Great Depression. Dad could afford not only the necessities but also a few luxuries. Regardless, we were not handed things just because we wanted them. A lot of that probably had to do with the way my mother was raised. Her father was a poor farm worker. Her mother was a woman in search of herself that had married at least 6 times while seeking a rich husband. My grandmother finally married and settled down with a poor cop. As a young woman my mother had worked in a cannery and as an adult she still liked to can fruits and vegetables. My dad loved to barbeque and if left to him we would have ate red meat every night. On the other hand my mom had learned how to stretch the dollar. I fondly remember the great meatloaf, casseroles, stew and hash she would make using the leftover meat from dads barbeques. I guess I am kind of getting off subject but memories sure are great.

As I was saying! As a child, mom would stretch those dollars. I was the second son, and in our family toys and clothing were passed on to me from my older brother. Usually that was ok except when it was things like a Coloring Book that had only been used once. When it came to clothes, my brother was tall and thin and I was squatty and pudgy. My brother’s pants never wore out for unlike me, he was a bookworm. When my brother outgrew a pair of pants, mom would cut the legs off to make wedges and sew them into the back of the pants so the waist would fit pudgy Terry. The work ethic that dad had instilled in me paid off. Even as an elementary school child I would look for and find ways to make extra money. I would use that money to purchase clothing and other things that I wanted and my parents would not purchase for me.

I married a beautiful girl that loved to shop and nothing could have thrilled her more than when we had a son and later a daughter, giving my wife another excuse to shop. Since I received hand-me-downs or had to work for special things, I figured my daughter could wear the clothing her brother had outgrown but my wife didn’t see it that way. Ok, maybe she was right on that one! Still, did she really need to spend so much money shopping? I remember one of our arguments where several checks had bounced. I called my young wife on it and she replied, "There were still checks in the checkbook" Ok, I should have known better, as I said she was a beautiful girl, I did not say that she knew how to do math! We learned how to compromise and while the children always had what they needed we tried not to spoil them totally rotten.

Today children seem to want every thing they see advertised on television. As I look around and talk with parents, it appears to me that far to many parents are willing to give their child whatever they ask for. Recently a father contacted me at AskUncleTerry.com. This father was telling me that just two years ago he had purchased his son a PS2 and last year the kid started throwing a fit because he didn’t have a PS3. His son was now turning 16 and talking about the car he expects to receive for his birthday. The father whom is a successful executive had asked if he should buy his son a car and if not how should he handle it? I told the father that he should not give his son everything that he asked for and perhaps should be giving him more kicks in the seat of the pants!

I do not care how rich you might be. Our children do not inherit a work ethic by watching their parents work their buns off. Work ethic does not come from playing video games and going to the mall or on dates with money or credit card given to a child by their parents. If a child wants an automobile they should be expected to help pay for it or at least contribute to the operating expenses. Parents also need to set limits when it comes to expenses such as clothing and electronic toys. Just because you can afford it, you do not purchase your child the most expensive shoes, clothing, game system or games just because they expect you to. Set limits as to what you will and will not purchase for them. Let the child do extra chores or get a part time job if they want items that are beyond those limits. Even when the child participates in the purchase of vehicles, gaming systems and computers do not forget that you are the parent and you take control when the child is out of control. My own son learned several times that while he may have had a car and shared in the expense of its operation, I owned the keys to that car.

Instilling a work ethic is one of the best gifts that any parent can give a child. While it is best to start this training while a child is young, even if they are now an adolescent or young adult it is never to late to start saying no. Yes, perhaps I am just mean old Uncle Terry, but I am proud to be of the old school with my dad’s work ethic and my mother’s thriftiness.