Dating can be a nerve-wracking experience for many people.

After all, you could be meeting your future spouse. It can also

be a very vulnerable experience. The whole point of dating

(usually) is to get to know someone else on an intimate level,

or at least beginning this process. For whatever reason, and

there are many, most people want to make a good first

impression. At the very least, most people want to avoid

rejection. Dating is a prime opportunity for this by its very

nature. Whether you're looking for a fun night out or a long

term development, rejection can occur either way, and it can be

difficult to deal with. Self-doubt can come in many forms, from

questioning one's intelligence to one's looks to one's ability

to tell a good joke. Dating puts it all out there.

How can you increase your confidence when it comes to dating?

There are a few things you can do, and certain methods are more

appropriate for some people than others.

First Things First

A date is just a date. It is not the rest of your life. Yes,

you may meet your future spouse, but this is far beyond the

scope of the date. At this point, no matter how desperate you

may be feeling to finally settle down, focus only on the date.

Putting more pressure on it makes it harder for both of you.

The other person is likely to sense your "desperation" (for

lack of a better word), and you end up putting way to much

pressure on yourself. Instead, try focusing on the date itself,

not where it may or may not lead. Enjoy the time together, or,

if you don't, try to avoid blaming yourself and going into the

litany of self-talk that tries to convince you that you're not

worth dating, you'll never find someone, and that you'll be

single for the rest of your life.

Be Yourself

Yes, you've heard it many times before, and there's a reason

for it. If you do hit it off with the other person, it's best

if this happens when you're being true to yourself. If you're

"faking" it, you're then faced with coming forward and facing

humiliation, rejection, or both, or continuing the facade. This

takes a lot of effort, it's dishonest, and you can't keep it up

for very long anyway. So whatever your faults, try not to hide

them too much. This doesn't mean that you put them all out on

the table on the first date, but it also means that you don't

go to extreme measures trying to hide them or pretending to be

something or someone you're not.

Get Out of Yourself

To help deal with your insecurities about yourself, try

focusing on the other person. Show a genuine interest in what

he or she has to say. Be honest and courteous in your

responses. Let the other person have the spotlight. Not only

does this help keep you from focusing on your insecurities, it

also helps accomplish what dates are meant to do--get to know

someone else better. Ask questions, listen to the answers, and

ask more. Talk about common interests when you find them. Above

all, try to avoid talking about yourself the whole time or

worrying too much about how you look, what you're saying, and

what type of impression you're making.

Try Something Different

If the idea of sitting through a quiet dinner with someone you

barely know makes you break out into a sweat, consider dating

activities that involve a bit more involvement. Take a tour

through a garden, go rollerblading, or do some other activity

that keeps you moving. If you have something to do, you can

focus less on feeling awkward and more on the conversation. It

helps keep the atmosphere lighter as well, which can make you

both feel more comfortable and confident.