So, you want to be a leader? It's not as easy as it sounds but it is simple if you take the suggestions outlined here that I'm going to give you.

Many people believe that tenure at a job or in a position automatically qualifies them to be a leader. There are even some companies who practice that. I think that could be disastrous. On the other hand, if the candidate does an excellent job in the position and they have demonstrated leadership qualities, by all means they may be a good leader. But time in a position is not the only qualification.

What I've seen proved again and again in terms of sales and management is that the best salesperson does not necessarily make the best leader. I know some phenomenal sales people who would make terrible managers, and they've told me so! Sure they are skilled in the technical aspects of sales and are excellent at what they do, but that doesn't mean that they have what it takes to be a leader. Leadership is much more than knowing what to do on a job or how it works. I don't want to focus on that for this specific article because there's a very important step that comes before leading others that many experts don't talk about and that's leading yourself.

I'm going to tackle 3 areas of this subject that I think are crucial to your development and success. They are:

--Accepting responsibility for where you are in your life

--Taking responsibility for where you are going

--Gathering the help you need

--Accepting responsibility for where you are in your life

This may be the toughest step for you in leading yourself but if you do it, I promise you that the rest of the journey will be easy. Here's where you look at your life and acknowledge where you are and why you are where you are. It's where you stand in front of the mirror and say hello to your biggest problem and the cause of all your life's anxiety and strife: You. Accepting responsibility for where you are brings you to the realization that you are in charge of your life and everything that has happened to you up to this point. It's where you realize it's either all your fault or an Act of God. By Act of God I mean a natural disaster or the death of a loved one. Those are about the only 2 things that you have no control over. And if I had more time with you I might be able to develop a good argument that we can control those as well.

You might be saying, "C'mon Rich. You know I lost my job because my boss didn't like me or because I wasn't able to reach my quotas. He gave all the good accounts away! Then the market tanked! That had nothing to do with me. He fired me because he hated me." Well, you'd better sit down before you read my response to that. Here it is: You can look at every "bad" situation in your life and run it over and over in your mind and, if you really try, you can find at least one thing (probably many things) that you could have done better. And it may have been that one thing that would have changed the outcome of that situation.

Going forward, I want you to pay close attention to every interaction you have with people. When you're through with your interaction I want you to make a mental note of what you would have liked to do better, say better or how you would have responded better. The key here is your response to the things that happen to you. You can "B and moan" or you can look at it constructively to gain some insight. The best leaders see how they can get value out of every situation they are faced with. As this becomes a habit, you'll find that your interactions will go much better.

--Taking responsibility for where you are going

This second step is very easy once you accept responsibility for where you are. But you can't skip the first step. Taking the steps in order will give you clarity and will naturally progress you to the next step. Here's where you now know that everything that's happened to you up to this point is your fault and you commit to fixing or changing it. This is where you need to start dreaming. Dream about where you want to go and what you want to do. Spend time making a list of everything you want to be, do, have or change. Take the limits off and write down whatever you can think of - short term and long term. Then turn them into actual goals. A good goal setting program comes into play here too. You'll need to learn how to set, track and achieve your goals. Goals are like a compass on a map. They help you get from point A to point B. You already figured out point A in the first step we talked about, now it's time to discover point B by making your dream list and then turning that list into goals.

--Gathering the help you need

Now that you've accepted the responsibility for where you are and have begun taking responsibility for where you're going, you'll need to gather some help to assist you in getting there. There are a couple of things you should begin to implement. First, you need a good personal development program that consists of positive, motivational material including books, CDs and seminars. Next, you should consider getting yourself a coach to help you. There are hundreds of types coaches that can help you in any area. You can get one that specifies in a particular area or you can get a life coach who is generally trained in all areas. You can also find a mentor - someone who's done what you are trying to do. There's no better way to get somewhere than following someone who's already done it.

These are not the only steps for you to take on your quest to lead yourself. But I think that they are the first 3 steps you should take. Remember, change takes time. Don't get frustrated if you're not seeing results quickly. One book, one CD or one seminar is not going to undo 30 or 40 years of programming. Learn to give yourself a break and be proud that you are on the road to change. I know you can do this and I definitely believe in you!