As you well know, there’s a stereotype about older, probably divorced men dating younger women. Sometimes much younger. The worn-out story tells about a guy in his late 30’s or older looking to “trade in” his wife on a “younger model”. Think of a 23 or 24 year old “hottie” and you are on the right track, but don’t rule out anyone (or anything) female who is “legal” (read: “18 or older”). Basically, such a guy is in search of an “arm ornament”.

What an insult.

One time when I still had an online profile posted, I received an email from a spunky, redheaded, and very cute eighteen-year-old girl (yeah, I said “girl”, not “woman”). After a lengthy rant in email form about how “all the guys her own age were boring” and such, she announced she wanted to “settle down and have about ten kids or so”. Considering she had spent what must have been a half-hour composing this message to me, I felt somewhat obligated to at least respond (a belief which I by no means impose upon those of you reading this, incidentally). Although tempted to reply with one of my typical single-liners (in this case, “You lost me at ‘hello’”), I went the more pragmatic route.

I explained that I was flattered, and I was sure she was a wonderful, albeit verbose person. But at 39 years of age I doubted I had ten more kids tucked away in my future.

One of you guys out there reading this is currently throwing something at your computer monitor and exclaiming, “WHAT? Are you NUTS?” I assure you that I am perfectly sane.

Oh yeah.

You see, I have a hypothesis that you may find particularly interesting in its irony. I firmly believe that most, if not all older men who obsess about dating girls younger than legal drinking age have something in common: they CAN’T do so. That’s right—any older man who actually CAN get a date with a very young woman will quickly tire of it. It’s the old philosophy at work here called “getting kills wanting”. Sure, young women are cuties and all. But to tell you the truth, if I am going to be babysitting anyone, I’d rather get paid for it than shelling out the bucks myself for a date. Know what I mean?

Oh sure, I’ve dated my share of younger women over the past few years. As a guy in my late thirties I did my darnedest to justify it, even giving several women about 25 or 26 an honest shot thinking they were “exceptionally mature”. In the end, they weren’t.

As you might imagine, the thought of dating younger women eventually gave way to more rational thought. Finally, after more “lab testing” than I care to mention, I happened upon a more innovative frame of mind that has yet to fail me.

So, what is the “silver bullet”?

Like many things I talk about around here, it’s disarmingly simple: I have realized that the greatest find in the world is a woman closer to my age who seems exceptionally young for her age.

Really now, how can you miss with this approach? If I am with a 35 year old woman who still gets carded routinely because she seems 23, I’ve beaten the “system” (whatever that means). In such a person, I find all of the vibrant, youthful, enthusiastic beauty of a younger woman wrapped in the mature persona of a REAL woman who can relate with me to the mid-80’s. What more could a guy want?

Now, for all of you women out there who are reading this and offended…stay that way. Why? Because you somehow read that I want a woman who looks 12 years younger than she is, and it’s an exceptionally rare woman who can pull that off.

Granted. That’s why I was careful to say “seems 23” instead of “looks 23”. Everyone, man or woman, has control over how he or she chooses to act. Whoever you are, keep an adventurous, fun attitude of enjoyment toward what life has to offer and you will absolutely, positively be sending all the right messages. Now if you take care of yourself physically and stay away from the “free radicals” that a life of hardcore partying hands down, so much the better. But that said, the vast majority of what we are discussing here comes down to attitude.

So make no mistake…a woman CAN give a man her own age exactly what he is looking for. It’s just tragic that most women DON’T do so, causing so many older guys to look to younger woman for the excitement they crave.

And guys, the same holds true for us. Sure, grow UP. Be mature, have things handled and don’t act like an immature little boy. But never, ever lose that sparkle in your eye. Keep the youthful excitement about life and a healthy sense of adventure and you’ll literally mesmerize women.

How cool is all of this, right? Great. Now go deserve what you want.