Bereavement l thank you notes may seem like a daunting task, but it can actually be a very healing experience. Here are a few tips and reminders to help you:

1. Funeral thank you notes are expected to be hand written. Write no more than four letters at a time to keep your handwriting neat.

2. You can often get free thank you cards from your funeral home or you can use your personal stationery.

3. Typically notes are sent within 2-4 weeks of the services or after receipt of gift or favor. However, modern etiquette is more relaxed regarding bereavement thank yous. It is considered a major breach in etiquette for someone to take offense at a lack of thank you card from someone who is grieving.

4. Thank you notes for sympathy gifts, letters of condolence, or favors can be written by any family member not just the recipient. So the next time a family member such as a cousin or in-law, sister, son or daughter asks you, "Is there anything I can do?" Feel free to ask them to help you. You can also have a family hand write the letters, and you can sign them.

5. A thank you note is not required for funeral attendance or short cards.

6. Funeral thank you notes are sent to the following people: clergy, pallbearers, drivers in the funeral procession, those who brought food or provided baby sitting, those who sent flower, people who made donations in the deceased's honor, people who sent long letters of condolence, photographs, videos, guests who spoke at the service, and gifts.

7. Your note does not need to be long. One or two sentences is all that is necessary.

8. Do your best to specifically mention what you are thanking the sender for such as flowers, sharing memories while taking you out to dinner or money.

9. When thanking someone for a financial gift do not mention the amount. Simply refer to the money as "your generous gift" and let them know what you spent their money on such as the services, catering, flowers or headstone.

10. Mail or have a friend mail your thank you notes as you write them. Do not fall into the trap of trying to get to everyone all at once. No need to worry about family members or friends receiving cards at different times. Your friend and loved ones will understand.

If you are feeling overwhelmed, take your time or ask for help. You can also skip the task of writing thank you notes entirely. It is not as expected as it once was. Err on the side of being kind to yourself. If you know a friend or loved one who has recently lost someone, volunteer to help them write their notes or send them a copy of this article.