We have all heard the word ‘stress’ bandied about. Some alternative words or phrases are:

· Uptight

· Nervous Tension

· Worrying

Is being stressed a good thing or a bad thing?

It has been proved that any change in your life, whether good or bad can cause you stress. The Journal of Psychosomatic Research published a scale of Stressful Situations in 1967. This was adapted from the ‘Social Readjustment Rating Scale’ by Thomas Holmes and Richard Rahe.

Eg. Losing your job on the scale of Stress is 45 while starting a new job is 35 so both can be stressful and cause you worry.

What Are The Signs of Being Stressed?

A person who is depressed is also stressed.

· May become emotional and tearful, likely to cry at the slightest thing that goes wrong.

· A lack of desire to do anything. Sometimes eating or getting washed and dressed may seem like too much trouble.

· The sufferer may withdraw from life and stay in the home, having no desire to socialise or meet other people.

Quite often the person will be worrying about something that hasn’t happened yet. For example, fear of losing their job.

Or a partner or spouse is ill and the spouse worries about them dying, and how will they cope?

In a way worry is actually ‘fear’.

Worry comes first before Stress, then Stress causes Worry. It’s a vicious circle. It is fear of what may happen. The old acronym for ‘FEAR’ is False Evidence Appearing Real.’ In other words, quite often it turns out that there was no need to worry in the first place.

Telling the sufferer to pull themselves together is of no help. The person suffering from Stress or Depression is not thinking rationally. Their ability to think things through has definitely deserted them.

Stress is a fact. Ignoring it is not going to make it go away.

So what does the person suffering from Stress want or need?

He or she will probably be helped more by someone outside the family. Family or friends are often too close to the situation to be objective.

While Stress in itself is not an illness as such, it’s the worrying bit that can cause the damage.

Stress, worry, tension is what can do the damage. Worrying is a poison to the body. It causes toxins to be released These toxins are carried by the blood to all parts of the body and can cause physical illnesses.

But while Stress, Tension or Worry initially start off as a Mental Problem, these Toxins will cause physical symptoms. Such as:

· High Blood Pressure

· Nausea and other tummy upsets

· Headaches.

· Fatigue

So Stress can be very debilitating. The sufferer is not functioning as he or she should be.

What Can Be Done To Help?

We all get Depressed or Stressed at some time in our lives. Often it will go away as suddenly as it came on.

But if the symptoms stay around for more than a week or two, help should be requested from the family GP.

The Doctor will either try to sort out the problem or refer the sufferer to someone who deals with mental problems, rather than physical ones.

Seeing a Psychiatrist or Psychologist is not a stigma. It does not mean you are losing your ‘marbles’. The Psychiatrist or Psychologist should just be thought of as a Mind Doctor, in contrast to a General Practitioner.

Sometimes, all the sufferer needs is someone to talk to. The ‘Mind Doctor’ has heard it all before. So a counselling session or two may help put things in perspective for the sufferer.

If the person with the Stress, Depression has lost their job, they have to be encouraged to try to get another one. If this means going for a job that is less pay than the previous one, it is better than having no money coming in at all, that only adds to the stress.

Maybe a new training course is what’s needed to give the person more confidence and a new skill.

The death of a Partner or Spouse is the most stressful situation. The grieving partner could be referred to a Bereavement Counselling Association. This is run by people who have been through it themselves and so can have empathy with the newly bereaved person.

Useful Contact Details: The Grief Centre Tel: +44 (0) 161 371 8860 E-Mail: grief@mabf.org.uk

The point is, nobody needs to feel they are alone. Seeking help from your GP is the first step to recovery.