From bits of news I pick up while flipping between Law & Order, Project Runway, and Hannah Montana I gather that the economy isn't doing so well. I don't really know what's wrong with it, maybe it's got that new flu bug that's going around, but I keep hearing people carrying on at work about something called Bailout which I assume is some kind of over-the-counter drug that will have the economy out of bed and back on it's feet in no time. Which is good because I'm pretty sure an unhealthy economy affects me somehow...

I don't spend much time worrying about the economy for two simple reasons. (1) I'm poor. When you have very little money you usually don't pay much attention to subjects that involve money. I mean what's the worst that could happen? I could getter poorer? Ha Ha Ha. Anyone who thinks that has obviously never seen my bank account. I routinely take loose change to the Coinstar machine in the grocery store just so I can get up a few dollars to deposit in the bank so I can make my minimum account balance. Yes, I know I could just take the change to the bank and deposit it but the people in the bank hate when you do that. I think bank tellers would rather you come in and slip them a note that says 'Put the money in a bag, this is a holdup' than for you to slide them a bag of loose change. I may be poor but I do have a little self-respect left.

Reason Number 2 why I don't worry about the economy is this: I don't really understand how it all works. I took the required Economics classes in school but to be quite honest the only cost benefit analysis I was worried about at the time involved a young lady who sat in front of me and whether or not I could create a monopoly on touching her assets without showing the hard currency that was rapidly appreciating in my pants. So now when conversations break out about the economy instead of being able to participate like a mature adult I find my brain filled only with booby jokes and a bunch of dirty limericks that start with 'There once was a girl from North Carolina'...

I assume that one day the economy will be back on it's feet and all the scare-mongers will have to find something else to talk about and frighten us with. maybe it'll be terrorism which is always a good one. Or maybe it will be something environmental like global warming or the total destruction of the ozone layer. I guess we'll have to just wait and see. You can be sure of one thing however, as long as there are people on this earth there will be crisis after crisis after crisis and each one will be blown out of proportion. Each one will be made into mountain when in reality it's just a lil' ole molehill. Each one for a time will keep the masses cowering in fearful expectation. And who's to blame for this? Why, bank tellers of course....